Friday, February 5, 2010

Chasing out fear, choosing faith...

The MRI was encouraging.
{Insert HUGE sigh of relief...}
No visible sign of damage to the brain.
That does not insure that the functionality of all his faculties is intact,
but at least it is not a negative.
At least it is not more BAD news.
Today has been our scariest yet.
And also our most sacred.
What a juxtaposition of emotion...
I went to bed at about 4:30 Friday morning.
Baby B was resting quietly.
I kissed him goodnight and said a prayer with him at his bedside.
He opened his eyes and our hearts connected.
Spirit to spirit.
For just a brief moment
Good Night, my sweet boy, I said.
I went to my sleep cell a few hallways away.
Thank you, Savannah, for the electric blanket.
I was warm and slept soundly until about 8:15.
I woke and packed up my bag, pulling it back down the hallway,
greeting the familiar faces along the trek.
Another day here at the PICU.
As I walked into B's room and met the new Day Nurse, Rowdy,
I was immediately alarmed.
In the bed where I'd left my little boy to heal and rest
lay a glassy-eyed guy with a blank, empty stare.
My stomach dropped...
"So how are we this morning?", I asked cautiously.
Rowdy filled me in on the morning's Neuro Exam.
He'd come on shift to meet Bronson for the first time and had been advised of his exciting progress.
But he'd found him a little sluggish.
Wide awake, but not really alert.
Staring blankly without focusing. Looking right through everyone.
Unresponsive to stimuli.
What had changed in those 3 hours and 45 minutes?
The Nurse Practitioner was called.
Then the Attending Physician.
Then the Neuro-Trauma Specialist.
We went over and over his chart, again and again.
We asked about all his medications.
What had changed? What had increased? What was new since yesterday?
We hypothesized about the possible changes and his sudden decline.
No one had any answers.
Had we imagined the encouraging progress? Embellished it? Misunderstood it?
No, I had seen my boy.
We had seen our boy. We were sure of it.
Others were sure of it.
We even had him on video from the day before.
Dr. Bennett explained that a neuro-trauma injury can evolve and often plateau.
Was this our plateau?
Was this the boy we would be left with?
We felt defeated.
Like someone had just let the air out of our balloon.
We may have to wait for an MRI until Monday.
How could we wait until Monday?
No, they could squeeze us in.
We waited the long, drugerous hours until 3:00 pm.
Our Stake President stopped in to see how we were doing.
He found us worried. Well, terrified. Faltering in our faith. Sick.
Matt gathered himself and they offered Bronson a Priesthood Blessing.
Matt... Oh, my Matt...
He turned his little body and mind back over to the God who had helped us to create him.
Asking for the faith to discover Heavenly Father's will and the strength to follow it.
To align ours with His.
President Francom counseled and advised. Hugged and encouraged.
What a blessed servant of the Lord.
He left us and I plead for your prayers.
They took Bronson down for the MRI.
Matt and I held each other in that empty little hospital room and fell apart in each others' arms. Sobbing and clinging to one another, praying.
Pleading for our son with every ounce of strength we could muster.
Sealing our hearts together.
Like never before.
I can not share the words we spoke with one another.
They are the most precious we have ever shared together.
But as I spoke, I realized that faith can not grow where fear is allowed to dwell.
There is not room in my heart for both.
Fear is the paralyzing agent of the adversary.
A first line of his defense.
And so I made a choice.
I must choose faith. Choose to believe. Despite the odds.
Despite the grim news. Despite the reality before us.
No matter how vulnerable and unguarded I let myself become, I will not, I can not fear.
I swallowed hard. Past the unbearable burn in my throat.
And chose to let go of the fear. Chasing it out with my faith.
Doctors do not know everything. They can only make their best guesses.
And even they admit to seeing miracles every day.
I know Heavenly Father lives.
I know He loves Bronson and has a plan for his life.
If it is God's will for him to remain with us, he will.
Simple as that.
And with the whole world praying, what have I to fear?
The Lord is bound to answer the prayers of the righteous when they are asked in faith.
And this is the righteous desire of our hearts...
We plea that He will spare our son. Heal his body. Protect his mind.
So that he may live out the rest of this mortal life as a testimony of God's miraculous power.
I can not consider the other option.
There is no other option.
But I am stronger than I thought I was.
I can do hard things.
Our family can do hard things.
We will accept the will of our loving Father in Heaven because it has never lead us astray.
Why would it now?
We will trust. We will be believing.
We will continue loving and being loved.
And we will press on faithfully, because we are faithful.
This I know...
Bronson's spirit is untouched. It lies within a broken body I do not know how to fix.
But he is ours. Forever. Come what may.
I am blessed to be his Mommy. Matt to be his Daddy.
The name Bronson means "Strong one".
The name Micheal means "One who is like God".
It is no coincidence that we chose these names for him.
What a powerful force he is...
Our strong, sweet, wonderful, beautiful boy.
By small and simple things, great things are brought to pass.
And great things have already come to pass.
People who do not pray, are praying.
People who do not believe, are finding hope.
People are reevaluating their faith and priorities.
I am reevaluating my faith and my priorities.
And THAT is the miracle.
He is uniting people across the globe.
Teaching the power of prayer. Individually. And how collectively, it multiplies exponentially.
Allowing us an opportunity to practice our faith. And allow it to grow.
I do not know why our family was chosen to pass through this challenge.
But I do know that God is mindful of each and every one of us.
All of the time.
He reaches out with tender arms of mercy.
In tiny specific ways.
Extending his grace until we are filled. Until we are enough.
Our Angel Nurse, Sally, helped us to hold him tonight.
To cradle our arms around him, stroke his tender cheeks and watch him sleep.
We sang to him that he is a Child of God.
A bit of Heaven was in our little room
as I felt his warm, limp body pressed against my own.
Count your blessings if you can do that without tubes and wires and machines between you.
For anyone keeping score we are two tubes down today.
Bye bye to the peripheral IV line in his ankle.
Good riddance to the arterial line in his bloody little wrist.
We will not miss them.
But we reluctantly welcomed two more necessary peripheral IV lines.
One in his left ankle. The other in his right hand.
We still do not know what is causing the seemingly unexplainable decrease
in his neurological functions today, as opposed to yesterday and the day before...
I have a hunch, but I'm not a doctor.
I'm just the Mommy.
Thank heaven I get to be the Mommy!


Sue said...

Thank you so much for the update. Yes, miracles, miracles and more miracles are Bronson's life force, they are his legacy.

I just finished posting thoughts on God on my blog, largely with you in mind. He is surely a God of love. There is no doubt. All these years He has prepared you to know that without doubt, and that knowledge is what upholds you.

Keep rockin' the faith!

Jennifer Quinn said...


By nature I am a nightowl...and I have been checking your blog periodically wondering if you would update; hoping that no news was good news. I had to check one last time before I crawl into bed and here it was, your beautiful, strong update.

May the Lord continue to bless you and Matt, Bronson, his brothers, and your entire network of support.

I hope you are able to get some more rest in your electric blankie :-)

<3 Jennifer

Anonymous said...

Continued prayers for your little fighter. Thinking of your family. I am happy for you that you could hold your precious little Bronson.
Marsha (Sydney, Australia)

House of Payne said...

oh have i been waiting for this post. i should be getting ready for work but desperately needed to know how B was doing. So thankful to a loving Father in Heaven. M and S...your strength goes beyond measure. I am thankful for you both. S...I know you were wondering in the beginning if blogging all this would be "appropriate"...I hope you now realize the impact your words, your faith, your trial has been to the world. I love you for who you are and who you've helped me become. More faithful. More prayerful. More believing. The Payne family loves you guys!

Anonymous said...

I just found your blog, I will pray for your family. You can do this, I know just how you feel. My husband suffered a brain injury in June, he's still in the hospital.
Please email me if I can help you in anyway. I've worked so hard and learned so much to save my husband, I would be more than happy to share with you in any way that I can.

The Bookworm said...

Praying for sweet Bronson! I made a blog button if you all are interested in it. It is on my blog. I can not figure out how to post it here. Grrrrrrrrrr!

Kea said...

I found your blog through a friend who just lost her sweet baby a month ago tomorrow.

I will pray for Bronson and your family.

Keep the faith and I'm so happy you got to hold him . . .

Peg Lewis said...

Thank you for the update. We go to sleep with prayers for your boy, and wake up with them still swirling in our minds. We lie awake because it is too early to get up on a Saturday morning, and then give up and come look to see if there's a post. We are transformed once again by your transformations. Thank you for sharing.

A good portion of my testimony has to do with how beautifully made we are, including how amazingly we can heal. We understand very little of that process: we think an aspirin or an antibiotic does the healing. But no, other forces are at work, and my guess is that they are a combination of this beautifully designed body and its resident spirit, and of course the powerful and tender hand of God. Just now as I read about your apparent set-back and yet the good news from the MRI, I thought, yes, once again I simply don't understand all that goes into healing. But if we have faith in it and let it happen, we will be amazed at its power. Life IS precious, it IS a gift, and our Father in Heaven is not going to have set things up so we need to tiptoe through life, being fragile. We are NOT fragile: we are well-made. And so we have within us the wherewithal to heal, EVEN if those who work over us when we are broken don't really understand things that way. And even if they do. Something is happening within Bronson, and maybe his consciousness needs a rest for that - I surely don't know. But I have faith that healing is going on in profound ways.

That is not to say we know the outcome. Not precisely. But we do know that from the eternal perspective, all is well.

Great work is being accomplished through Bronson. Isn't that amazing for a toddler? And through you. Let the miracles continue, body and spirit. Hugs to you and those around you. Prayers work, bodies work, spirits work, and blessings work. Watching them work together, as you describe it, is a precious gift. May all be well with you all is my prayer.

Momof3inVA said...

I just came across your family from a fellow blogger and I just wanted to say I am praying for your family.

I am so glad you got positive MRI results...God is Great and He can do AMAZING things by inspiring some of these doctors and nurses.

Sylvia Runyon said...

Heavenly Father, You have blessed this couple with a beautiful angel who needs your ever loving touch. I believe in your miracles as I've witnessed a lot and I know you are in the hospital with this family. You are the nurses that walk into the room, the Dr.s that assist him and the comforters for the parents. I pray that you shower them with hope and the continued joy and love they have for one another through this situation.They haven't withered from their faith and I pray that their strength is continued with You holding their hands and the Holy spirit in their hearts. In Jesus name, Amen.
An old friend, Mark Bernston, sent a message on FB to spread your story for extra prayers. I'm so thankful he did. God bless you and your family.

Mom said...

I talked with Grandma Staker last night. She was so happy that Matt had called her and gave her an update, it was so kind of him. A week ago today you have been at this new residence, the PICU. This is the place that you have connected with people all over the world. You have helped us grow and our testimonies are stronger and we have more faith than we have ever had before. Thank you for sharing and bringing us to this good place. May you feel comfort and peace as you continue on this journey of bringing Bronson back to his normal life. Love you guys, Aunt Linda

Babata said...

I'm so thankful the MRI results were positive and that President Francom was able to visit, comfort, hug, and encourage. Bronson is truly touching so many lives, what an incredible strong, miraculous, and sweet child. Our prayers continue for your sweet family.

Shmonae said...

I lay in bed, watching the rain fall on the my skylights, and pray. Is it possible to pray all day? I think it is. Kneeling is an important way to pray, but I believe keeping a constant petition of hope and prayer in your heart is another avenue.

It is a good thing because somehow I am being "mommy" at our home while half of my heart and thoughts are with you, continually pleading with our Heavenly Father.

My kids catch me now and again with tears in my eyes and ask what is wrong. After a week, they already know. I have been in love with your family from the first time I saw you sitting in church on Sundays. It is hard to wrangle four little boys in church and teach them to be quiet. I know you worry about keeping them respectful, but I love watching every little movement they make! It is so comforting for me to realize that there are beautiful women raising strong, handsome young men for my daughters to marry someday. If I focus on teaching my girls, they will be blessed with a valiant son of God to raise a family with. Thank you for being that kind of mother, and lucky for your boys, they also have a patient loving father.

What more could sweet Bronson ask for? He can FEEL of the spirit that surrounds him as he lays in bed. He KNOWS he is supported, even while his eyes are closed, and his sad body lays still. He knows he is being carried by our Heavenly Father because of the example you as parents set for him and the feeling in your home.

I have a friend that takes beautiful pictures (as you do) and I thought they were appropriate to share with you at this time in your life. is the link. I hope can copy and paste it on Youtube because I can't figure out how to attach it. :)

I have a little treat planned for your boys tonight. I can't wait! You would think I was the one getting it!

Janae and the Moss family
(we are all praying)

Shmonae said...

If that link doesn't work, go to and search

Captured Miracles Collection and My Name Is HOPE

Hopefully one of those will work!!

Anonymous said...

Sara and Matt,
I am so glad you are his mommy! We miss you and Bronson in our Sunday meetings, such a precious little adventurer. Many years ago when I faced Steve's near death heartattack I too had to choose faith, not fear. At that time I was closer to my Father in Heaven than anytime in my life. With that faith and the prayers of so many I was sustained and carried through the many good and very scary times. Once you know that He is there, for you personally, one cannot remain the same, it enlarges ones view of what is possible. We too add our prayers, morning and evening and in between, whenever the thought arises during the day.
Barb and Steve Duncan

The Linfords said...

Oh Sara. My heart is right there with you. I am so amazed at the outpour of faith that you have allowed so so many people to have. You are never alone. There are hundreds of people checking up and praying for you
and your precious family. You are a tremendous example of an amazing mother with unwaivering faith- such an example to hundreds! We keep you in our thoughts, prayers, and hearts! Love you all!


Kathy Jenkins said...

Oh, Sara, all of us at Covenant have been praying nonstop for your beautiful little boy and for you and Matt. Rivers of tears have been shed among us. Summits of faith have been achieved in your behalf. Please know that our hearts and spirits are twined with yours and that all of us are lifting our prayers heavenward in your behalf. We love you.
--Kathy Jenkins

Cierra said...

Deatest AMAZING, STORNG, WONDERFUL Sara. My name is Cierra, I am a mama of 4 babies and was asked to read through your blog form a friend of your Dad. Your writing is REAL, I don't know you, yet I feel like I do, in a way. Our 2 youngest children are close in age and I oftern come home from the gym on Sat. mornings (when else can a mom exercise?!?!) and through my lil' 1's in the tub and then "become efficient" and go into task mode, for just a "few seconds". Wow!!! You're story hit me!! Not just because of that, bu as a believer and KNOWER of the wonderous works of our LORD JESUS CHIRIST!! Sara, as I was praying for you precious son, on my face, tears streaming I felt God say he HAS BRONSON IN HIS HANDS!!! Now that's all I saw/heard. But where my heart aches the most is for YOU!! I can't imagine how you feel, I'm not going to even pretend that I can relate or understand. But as a fellow GOD fearing Mom, form outside your situation, yet with a heart string attached, I want to ENCOURAGE, EDIFY, and BLESS you & remeind you of a few scriptures right now. John 3:18
He who believes in Him [who clings to, trusts in, relies on Him] is not judged [he who trusts in Him never comes up for judgment; for him there is no rejection, no condemnation--he incurs no damnation} Pray that over yourself. Lay your hands on your head/heart and pray over and over and over!!! Guilt only leads to condemnation!! And again, THERE IS NOOOOOOOOOOO CONDEMINATION FOR THOSE WHO ARE IN CHRIST JESUS!!! And Romans 8:28 ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD FOR THOSE WHO BELIEVE AND ARE CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS SPIRIT!! Gosh I hope you don't read this Sara, and feel like I'm being tacky, as you almost just lost your son and are having to walk through this time!! But the BIBLE is TRUE!!! So what it says IS TURE!!! This trial will make you stronger and build your faith!!! ( I can't remember where it is in the Bible where Paul talks about rejoicing in your trials because they will produce great faith, sorry :) ). Okay, holy cow I hope this blesses you!! I am soooooooo praying and BELIEVING for your son!!
In Love, Cierra

Emily said...

Dear Sara, I recently heard through the grapevine of your heart wrenching story. I am the mother of a 6 month old little boy and my heart aches knowing what you have gone through. We went through an incident where my son stopped breathing in his sleep when he was 2 months old. Luckily I woke up in time to notice his blue lips. He was rushed to the hospital. Our outcome was a happy ending and I have prayed so so hard that you have the same results. There is a small and simple scripture in Matthew that says "I will not leave you comfortless". It meant so much to me when we were going through our struggle. Not only did I know that I wasn't alone... but I knew that Heavenly Father had his arms wrapped around my sweet baby boy. I commend you on your faith. It's faith that will get you through this. You have been so strong and already thousands of people are following you and looking at you as an inspirarion. Keep your head up. Bronson needs you to be strong for him and the rest of your family. I didn't sleep much last night, I was thinking about Bronson and I got on my knees several times througout the night praying for him and you and I will continue to do so. Please keep us updated, we are all rooting for your family. With love,

sevenalstons said...

Just a quick note to let you know that love and prayers are being sent your way from our family. We will keep your precious baby and your family in our daily prayers.
~Jennifer in Delmar, NY

Anonymous said...

Favorite scripture: 2 Tim 1:7:

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Praying all day for Bronson - Love Julianne

Wendy Wilson said...

Sara, I came accross you blog from a friend who blogs. I had to go back to Day 1...his birth to figure out what happened (the pics led me to believe there was a train wreck or roller coaster accident) Sparked my curiosity! In just a few short minutes I went rejoicing with you over the birth of your sweet baby to crying like a baby!! You have a beautiful family!! So thankful we get to be Mommys!! My children are 18yrs, 14yrs & 8yrs. I will be praying for this sweet life AND for you and your husband as you continue this journey!! May the Lord continue to strengthen each of you!
~Wendy Wilson; Albany, Georgia

The Daniel Family said...

Thank you so much for the update. I checked before I went to bed last night and missed your post. I missed it by a few hours. I'm glad the MRI is encouraging. Hopefully, you will continue to get good news every day and have no more scares. It sounds like Bronson is a strong little boy. Continue to have faith.

I had a friend that something similar happened to her little girl this past summer in the swimming pool. She was under for at least 9-11 minutes. After several weeks in the PICU, she is a perfectly healthy, healed 2 year old. My friend says the full healing of her daughter was due to all of the prayers and faith that were given by tons of people for her little Sadie. There is no other explanation.

Will be thinking and praying for you all day. I will check back to see updates later.

Aimee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Aimee said...

I'm not even sure how I came across your blog, but I did, and I believe it was for a purpose.

I went through something pretty similar to your story last month. My daughter was in a snowmobile accident with no helmet on. She too was on a ventilator and highly sedated. Fractures in her skull and bleeding on the brain. She is just fine today, and I pray that your Bronson is going to be just fine too.

I am so thankful that you poured your heart out in the post - it feels so good to let it out.

I want you to know that I am going to be praying not only for Bronson, but specifically for you and your husband. It's a trying time to be in the hospital with VERY little sleep, so I will be praying that you and your husband will stay strong through this horrific ordeal.

Stand strong in your faith. That is the only thing that will get you through this.

Praying for you,


Laura said...

I came across your blog from reading another blog. Please know that you have another person (and family) praying for your precious little boy and for your family to have strength during this time. I look forward to reading many more good updates. God bless your little boy and your family. Many many thoughts and prayers. [[[[HUGS]]]]]

Heather said...

I'm praying for you and your husband and your whole family!! Please Jesus, heal Bronson!

shelby said...

My heart thoughts and prayers are with all of you!

Kahilau said...

I too choose FAITH. What a powerful woman you are. Being THE MOMMY is the most AMAZING blessing EVER! How blessed Bronson is to have you and your husband. God Bless!

Rebecca said...

I don't know you any more than I knew Natalie on whose website I found your story but I want you to know that I am praying for your son and your family as fervently as I did and continue to do for Natalie. With love and prayers that all will be well soon,

Rebecca said...

I don't know you any more than I knew Natalie on whose website I found your story but I want you to know that I am praying for your son and your family as fervently as I did and continue to do for Natalie. With love and prayers that all will be well soon,

ashley said...

Hoping and praying for your sweet family.

Betsy said...

Healing prayers continued...

Tiffany said...

I was sent over to your blog last night, and I have been crying for your little boy ever since. I have already said many, many prayers for him. Keep the faith. God will never forsake you. Remember that he knows what he is doing. You, your husband, your children, and the medical staff helping with Bronson are ALL in my prayers today.

Nicole said...

Dearest Sara

I stand alongside you, all the way from South Africa, and trust in our Father who is SO much BIGGER than this! I trust for Bronson's healing. I trust for the miracle that he is to be a testimony to the world for YEARS to come. I trust for the strength for you and Matt to keep going, to keep faith, to keep united! I trust for your family, your other boys as they wait at home for their buddy. I trust for all the people in your lives, as they wait, hoping and praying! My daughter, Ryen-Joelle, is 2yrs9months. Her and I laid hands on Bronson's picture and with tears streaming down my face (and Ryen mopping them up with toilet paper - sweet girl), we prayed for Bronson. I haven't stopped praying since! We love you!

From across the Globe

The Benches said...

We choose faith in Bronson, too. Still praying, still loving.

The Benches said...

We choose faith in Bronson, too. Still praying, still loving.

Hil said...

Still praying for sweet little Bronson. I know our God is a God of miracles and can do wondrous things. Thank you for sharing your sweet testimony and faith, it has in turn strengthened my own.

Mauri said...

Still praying for Bronson! Mike and I talked about it last night and I was so happy to read that you were able to hold him for a bit. I think he misses that. The poor little thing needs some love and snuggles from Mom and Dad. Human Touch can be such a strength and he's still just a baby, he needs his Mommy! I hope things will be better today. You and Bronson are in our hearts daily and a prayers are being offered all day. Mike says that the Carpet Store has become a place of prayer and devotionals. Hold on to your faith and know that we love you.

Kierstin said...

It is wonderful that the MRI was so encouraging! My heart aches for the day that you experienced yesterday and I hope and pray with all of my heart that today is a wonderful and very positive day for sweet Bronson Michael...what a gorgeous name for a precious and very strong little boy! We are praying for him and for each one of you.

Jenny Bracken said...

Prayers, prayers, prayers lots and lots of prayers for Bronson and your precious family.....I am soooo glad you got to hold your little Bronson. My second pregnancy i was flown to UVRMC knowing that my little guy was coming to early. It was the best feeling ever when i finally got to hold him. Heavenly Father is with you, helping you as he was for us. He got me through the long days and what felt like never ending nights. Knowing he was there for me is what got me through all three boys being early.
Lots of prayers and love from Southern Utah :)

Julie said...

Please know that I am pouring out my heart to our Heavenly Father for you and your little guy!! I don't know you but I know that prays can be answered and dang it, you have a lot coming your way. Life is rough but God is great. Thank you for sharing your story and reminding me that children are a gift from God. After reading this last night I went into each one of my children and cried at their bedside. Please keep updating for you and me. I love you and I don't even know you, but I know that God loves both of us.

Karen Duncan said...

Dear Sarah, Matt and boys, just want you to know are hearts and prayers are with you.

Mandy @ The Party of 3 said...

Praying for Bronson and your whole family! Lots of Love and Prayers from Small Town, Oklahoma!

Becca and Jared Anderson said...

I read your blog from Ashlee Andersen's post on facebook. I live in Idaho, but am watching my sister's kids in Utah for the weekend. We don't know each other, but I want to drive down to Primary's right now and give you a big hug. Two weeks ago I was in the ICU day and night with my husband, as we all fought for his little brother's life. He was suffering multi-organ failure and on life support for over a week. I know the anxiety and the roller coaster ride of emotions--and being on the brink of witnessing either a miracle, or possibly watching your world come crashing down around you. It kills me to see your sweet baby boy on the same machinery that my brother-in-law was on. It is gut wrenching. What a beautiful little boy! I can't even fathom being in your position as a parent. I was able to witness a miracle a couple weeks ago, when my brother-in-law's life was spared. It was an experience I will never forget. I BELIEVE with all my heart in the power of prayer, in priesthood blessings, in the tender mercies of our Heavenly Father. He is aware of you, and your precious baby boy. He hears your prayers, and just as many were praying for us in our time of need, we are praying for you now. I will pray with all my heart for your miracle--your precious miracle. I know the doctors and nurses are being guided to make all the right decisions and choices in Bronson's behalf. Our doctors were---it was amazing! Your blog is beautifully written--you have such a talent, and it has been emotional for me to read. I am moved. I am praying for your MIRACLE---and I BELIEVE!!
Becca Anderson

Megan and Sean said...

Love and prayers from an LDS family in Maine.

Anonymous said...

I'm adding all my love, hope, and faith to the ARMY praying for your Bronson! I believe there is also an army of angels watching over Bronson, too, comforting his little spirit.

The Queen Vee said...

In this earth life our faith is tested in ways we never would have expected. My heart aches for you and Matt but I can see that you are making the right choices. Ban all fear, the Lord is with you every step you take in this life and he is right there with Bronson too.

Our prayers continue for all of you.

Mcbride Family said...

You are such an amazing woman and example to me. I sit here and read this and I am in awe of you and your words.
We will be fasting for you and BRonson on Sunday.

Amanda said...

It is a privilege to be the mommy of these children that come to earth to be with us. What a responsibility we are given. They sure teach us a lot don't they?

We are praying all throughout the day for you guys. I just had my husband read this post and he disappeared and he wouldn't answer me. He was at our bedside, on his knees, with tears in his eyes.

Reading your posts brings back so many close emotions. And what a rollercoaster of emotions they are.

May the comforter be near you!
Amanda & Jeremy

Anonymous said...

So thankful to wake up this morning and find this update!


endless prayers for you...

Anonymous said...

You are the strongest most faithful person I have ever come across. God knows your heart and it is so pure. You are a tower of strength to your little family and everyone reading this blog. It is so good to hear that you were able to hold your little sweet heart.

{Anne} said...

Oh sweet Sara and Matt-
From the moment we heard, you have been in our every thought and prayer. You are amazing for sharing and pouring out your soul to us all who are anxiously awaitng any good news/updates. The MRI was encouraging and we continue to pray that Bronson can hold strong and with the strength of our Father in Heaven, be healed.
You are such an amazing family with so much faith.
Again we are sending our thoughts, prayers and love your way.
Love, Anne and Stewart

Candace said...

Thank you, Sara, for the update. Still praying, hoping, and sending all the virtual love I can your way.

Stacy Holmes said...

I knew Matt at Snow..Shan lead me to read your blog and I have been praying ever since. Please know of the many, many people praying for you.
Stacy Carling Holmes

Anonymous said...

I read before I went to bed and I just your blog to see if there were anymore updates. I am praying that today will be a better day than yesterday that you will see improvements. One day at a time.

Amy said...

You don't know me but I just wanted you to know that you and your sweet baby are in my prayers & constantly in my thoughts. I have a little guy just a few months older than Bronson and I gave an extra big hug this morning I pray that you will be able to hug B soon without tubes!!!!

Amy said...

We are praying for your little one. Hold strong!

Shauna said...

My family and I don't know you, but we're praying for you and your sweet little Bronson. Bring on the miracles!

Mama said...

Sara, I have never heard a more beautiful expression of faith. Not only has your son helped people across the globe, but you have, too, with this testimony that it is in God's hands and whatever mission Bronson has WILL be fullfilled. You have a talent for writing to express what you are feeling and yet teaching about the power of prayer, priesthood and God. My prayers have joined others. I myself am a product of a miracle. My mom had been told after my brother was born that she would never have any more children. 14 years later she got pregnant with me. Then she developed a tumor but if they operated, she would probably miscarry. She had a priesthood blessing and when she went for the pre-op exam, they could not find the tumor. When I was born I only weighed a little over 5 lb. but was very healthy and did not even need to be in an incubator. I grew up and raised 6 children of my own and have 14 grandchildren with a 15th one due in Sept. I have tried to pass on my testimony to them and I hope this will strengthen you. You are an incredible woman and I am sure have been blessed with special spirits to raise.
Elaine Randolph- Salem, Or.

Anonymous said...

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PMC said...

good good....being filled with God's love will keep the darkness at bay. The faith is love and the darkness is fear. if prayers are what is needed then you have those....please let that baby get better!

Robyn said...

I heard about your story from my dear friend and college roommate Sabra. She posted on her facebook. I will spread your story too so you can have more prayers. I do not know you personally but feel so incredibly impacted by your story. I am an LDS mother of 4 beautiful children. Your story could be mine. My husband and I pleaded for your baby in our prayers last night full of tears. We will continue to pray for your family in faith and hope. My trials seem like spit in a bucket now. Thank you for sharing your story. For your strength and example. Prayers, prayers, and more prayers for your beautiful family.

Anonymous said...

I found your blog from Natalie Norton's blog. She suffered tragedy last month too. I am one of the people who can't help but ask why? I admire your faith. I admire your strength. I admire your momma heart. I know this was NOT your fault. We often hear that everything happens for a reason, even if the trial seems more than we can bear. I have had so many medical related trials with my own children and my strength is so much stronger. I never knew I could handle so much. People often say The Lord never gives us more than we can handle but I wish he didn't trust me so much. I know your child is with you. His spirit is FULLY aware that you are there. He knows your pain and love for him. He is comforting you. Many times when life is in the balance our loved ones are present in spirit. They are the ones surrounding us. I prayed hard for him today. Heavenly Father is merciful. He knows you need time with your son. Hopefully that time on Earth will be 100 years or so. We all love your son. May the Lord watch over you closer in this time of need.

Amelia Merritt said...

Whatever your hunch is, you BE SURE to communicate that to the nurses and doctors. The Mommy is going to be listening very closely to promptings. If the staff listen to you and you listen to the spirit you can create with God.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for posting. I have been watching and waiting since you left us with the MRI yesterday, hoping for good news and constantly praying.

Still, always, constantly praying.

Prayers from Oregon

Kimberly, Dan and Carter Black said...

I came across your blog from a friend and just want you to know that we are praying for Bronson, as well as the rest of your family. I have a 2 year old boy and your story has just hit me so hard. My heart goes out to you, but you have so much faith, and so many prayers coming your way I just truly know that the lord knows you and your family and is mindful of all of you. Thank you for the continued updates we will keep the prayers coming. Much love!

Kimberly (San Diego,CA)

Amy@ MomsToolbox said...

Oh my goodness.

I just came to your site via your friend Janae who left a link in my BlogFrog community.

What a terrible tragedy you have been facing... a tragedy that any of us could have experienced.

I typically take my kids in the shower but sometimes put the in the 'big tub.' My husband goes on long training rides solo. I take for granted that my youngest child 'feels' older than she is. And I have also hopped around the corner 'for a sec.'
You are not alone. And God has you in his arms. In the terror, and frustration and confusion and in everything else, just try your best you gain comfort, as much as you can, from that.

And know that I will be another voice in prayer for your family and son's healing.

This morning I asked God to use me. To show me why I blog and make it obvious. YOU are why I blog. This is how God wants me to be used. I will be your prayer warrior.

Erin said...

I'll be praying for your trooper! My son had a stroke 2 1/2 years ago and his neurologist said it was very similar to a near drowning pattern. Just have hope is all I can say. Kids and brains are amazing. Colby is still making progress even though we were told to give up after a year. If you can when you get out of the hospital and life settles down a bit look into Hyperbaric Oxygen treatments. It's miraculous even though you will be told not to waste your money. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Hang in there the road can be long but the miracles along the way are unbelievable.

{jane} said...

love you, with this big hot lump in my throat, that just won't go away lately.


p.s. everywhere i go, people are asking about you & little B. friday morning at sela's little gym class, much of the lobby knew of this incident, mostly strangers to me. last night at kiana's dance showcase at thanksgiving point, everyone was asking about 'sara & little Bronson'

the love, concern, understanding, prayers, and hopes are endless.

Ludwig Family Randomness said...

Thank you for your sweet testimony. I know the Lord will sustain you and your family.
Our continued Prayers!

Karissa said...

We've never met, but I heard of your story and read your blog everyday. I cry every day. As a mother of 4 myself, I could just as easily see myself in your situation and it tears me apart. I am so sorry for the pain that you feel now. My family prays for yours every day. God bless you.

Bridget said...

Dear "Just the Mommy",

Your hunches can give so much MORE insight at key points as compared to the doctor. You know your son, know his responses to you and are vigilant in finding answers and getting the doctors to perform their best...because at the end of the day, they are going to have to answer to you. Answer your questions and listen to your insight and contribution.

Just the mommy? No, you are MOTHER. Full of faith. Hear you roar!

In love and prayer,

Kara said...

I saw a link to your blog and have been in tears reading about your little boy. Our thoughts and prayers will be with your sweet little boy and your family.
This story hit close to home for me in some ways. When my little boy was 9 days old he was life flighted from UVMC to PCMC. It was so scray!! He had a blood clot in his brain, and ended up having brain surgery at 10 days old. Those neuro doctors at Primary's are so wonderful! I hope and pray they will be able to help your son too. He's beautiful boy (all of them are!). Prayers for you all.

Jenn Granum said...

Praying for a miracle. They still happen every day. Your faith is an inspiration to us.

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Karenin Jaar Robison said...

thanks for opening your heart and lives with us.
your strength is amazing!
i am so thankful for the atonement of jesus and for the opportunity that we have to be an eternal family with perfect bodies.
my sister drowned when she was 21 months old and i was 8 when i found her laying in our pool.
she was in a comma for a few weeks, drs said she would be a vegetable when she woke up, if she would.
miracles do happen and prayers are answered. she is a strong, intelligent, 16 year old now. there is no difference between her and any other 16 year old. she is perfect.
god provides miracles.
never stop believing.
when we surrender ourselves to him, and trust in him completely we feel of his love and we can truly watch miracles happen.

"Challenges, difficulties, questions,
doubts—these are part of our mortality.
But we are not alone.
As disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ,
we have enormous spiritual reservoirs
of light and truth available to us.
Fear and faith cannot coexist in our
hearts at the same time.
In our days of difficulty, we choose
the road of faith.
Jesus said, 'Be not afraid, only believe'
(Mark 5:36)."
Neil L. Andersen

Our family is praying and fasting for your little guy's speedy recovery.

August Teuscher said...

r Family struggles with the progressive weakness our son is struggling we are in the stages of testing for Muscular Dystrophy and the complications from it... I am impressed by your Faith as I am struggling to gain mine... I hope the best for your sweet family. :)

Anonymous said...