Saturday, February 6, 2010

Baby Steps...

It was kind of a slow, quiet day for our little man...
The big thing to report today is the continuation of his arm movements.
Up and all around and even above his head.
He was awake for much of the day, but still had that blank empty stare that we hate.
They did remove his femoral central IV line.
There's our one line out for the day.
Five poopy diapers. Count them... 5!
He also had a couple of Spontaneous Breathing Trials.
(That is where they turn the ventilator onto standby mode and allow him to breathe for himself to see how he'll do when they attempt extubation again.)
He was a little agitated when they turned the pressure support down from 12 to 8,
so they tried again and he was able to hold steady at 10.
They'll try another in the morning.
One step at a time... right?
We got to hold him again.
We had lots of wonderful visitors and have some incredible stories to share.
Truly incredible...
But I'll have to beg your apologies...
We are all tired tonight, so I'll have to keep you waiting.
Because, after all, that is what we are doing.
Just waiting...

A week ago... right now...

A week ago right now, I lived in a beautiful, beloved home
that I can hardly remember right now,
as I sit here in this giant, cold building I can not leave.
My biggest concerns were how I would gently remind Matt, without nagging,
that the undecorated Christmas tree still needed to be carried down to the storage room.
It was driving me crazy that it was already the end of January
and my Valentine's Day decorations were still not up.
I was far too frustrated by the final five pounds I've been battling so hard against.
The ones that simply refused to melt off my hips.
I was trying to figure out how to squeeze in a pedicure that afternoon
and still get the laundry caught up.
Worried about getting the invitations out for our Super Bowl Party.
(Who is playing again?)
And anxious to getting started right away on my next book.
Who was that girl?
I want to go back in time and warn her that her charmed life is about to be turned upside down.
That someone is about to pull out the rug...
Right now, there was bath water running into the tub.
Right now, I was walking down the hall for the pajamas.
Right now, I was thinking that I could quickly put away the laundry.
Right then, I had forgotten what was most important...
I want to shout to her, "No! Don't leave them!"
"Hurry back! They need you!"
"Stop! That will wait!"
How I wish I could turn back the clock.
Life can turn on a dime...
Right now, my biggest concern is if my baby can get enough oxygen to keep himself alive
as they try to wean him off the vent.
It is driving me crazy that it is the end of the week and we still don't have any idea what his long-term prognosis might be.
I zipped up my skinny jeans today and it wasn't nearly as exciting as I'd imagined it would be.
The motherload of poop we found in Bronson's diaper yesterday was 10x more thrilling.
Maybe 100x!
Funny how perspective can change...

Waxing and waning...

Right now, this minute, Bronson is moving his right arm... again.
The one he only twitched just a little bit yesterday.
The one they said might be partially paralyzed due to neurological damage.
The one that was unresponsive during the Neuro-Assessment just earlier this morning.
They say these types of brain injuries can evolve.
That there will be "waxing and waning".
...Glad to be back to the waxing!
So as I gave him a little sponge bath and styled his funky little faux hawk,
he batted my hand away. Cognitively. Several times.
Just like he does at home when he's bugged with my ceaseless primping and polishing.
I ran out and grabbed the Nurse Practitioner, Kristen.
Dr. Bennett ran in as well.
It was smiles all around the room.
I hate to say I told you so...
But ...then maybe I don't! ;)