Friday, May 7, 2010

Alright, already...

Okay... This is it.
Tonight I feel really yucky.
Tired.
Grumpy.
Out of gas.
And sorta...
Blah.
No...
Strike that...
REALLY blah.
Blah... blah... BLAH!
.
I HATE this feeling!
Absolutely HATE it!
And even worse, I know why.
I know EXACTLY why...
.
You see, I usually eat really well.
By most people's standard, I eat VERY well.
I love fruits and veggies.
I eat them at nearly every meal.
I get a good balanced amount of protein and healthy, whole grain carbohydrates.
And I try to eat every 2-3 hours throughout the day.
(Yes... That's 5-6 times per day.)
I LOVE good food...
And I eat a lot!
.
I also drink like a fish.
I start drinking water first thing in the morning at 5:15.
All day long, I drink and drink.
And I'm not talking soda... I despise it.
Water only.
By bedtime, I've usually consumed over 100 ounces.
Sometimes more.
.
And I usually have plenty of energy.
Moreso than I sometimes know what to do with!
You know me!
Me and all my big ideas...
{If only I could buy more time at the health food store!}
.
But this past week, I have been very "off."
No particular reason...
I've just been a bit lazy, I guess.
Slipping up in my usually good habits.
If we are what we eat, then right now, I am the city dump!
.
With Matt gone, I immersed myself in a project and barely slept.
We had visitors staying with us
and I was not diligent with my planned meals and regular mealtimes.
I've hardly drunk any water.
I am thirsty.
My head aches.
Even my lips and skin feel dry.
I know I am dehydrated.
.
So this is MY fault!
I know better!
I know what my body needs.
I'm just not giving it!
.
SO...
As of this moment, I am recommitting to take better care of myself.
Because I can.
Because I should.
Because I am worth it.
.
...And they are worth it!
{Because I know that even when they don't complain,
my boys like me even more when I am feeling good.
And fun.
And like myself.
Instead of like this... yucky... blob.}
.
So no more being lazy and eating crappy for me!
For crying out loud...
I AM NOT A GARBAGE DISPOSAL!
.
.
I do NOT need to finish my children's meals for them!
I can not.
I will not.
It is an awful habit!
...One of my worst.
Just because they decide they are "done" eating while there is still food on their plates
(food I worked hard to prepare for them, mind you ),
does NOT mean I have to consume it to prevent it from going to waste!
I do not have to dispose of it!
At least not into my own mouth!
That's why we have a garbage can.
And a disposal in our sink!
.
I hereby remind myself that I am a big girl.
I have outgrown "kiddie food".
I can not thrive off of the leftover Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwich crusts.
Or the last few bites of their Pigs in a Blanket.
I DO deserve to take the time to prepare my OWN real food...
Even if THEY want Mac & Cheese, Little Caesar's or McDonald's
(on the rare occasion that I actually cave in and indulge them).
They are boys.
Little boys.
Growing boys!
With the metabolism of a raging bonfire!
.
I, on the other hand,
am aging...
I can not eat anything and everything, like I once could, and still feel fine.
And I do not have the self-discipline to deprive myself.
Or the cardio-endurance of a Madman, like my sweet-tooth husband.
{I love you, Sweets...}
So instead, I must choose well.
I must choose better.
.
It's sort of like the oxygen mask thing...
As counter-intuitive as it seems, it is how we ensure that we all survive.
And how we all thrive...
In order to take care of others well, we must first take care of ourselves, as well.
.
So for now, that means cracking the proverbial whip a bit, on my eating habits...
I start in the morning!
{I can hardly wait!}