Saturday, February 27, 2010

Birthday Party Meltdown...

We had a little melt-down here at our home this morning...
The Mommy, who is admittedly still functioning on only half power,
completely FORGOT to take Trevan to a Birthday Party.
And not just any Birthday Party.
A very important Birthday Party.
A Best-Buddy's Birthday Party...
It had been over for an hour by the time he remembered
and asked me how much longer until it started.
Aye Carumba.
He melted...
Poor kid.
When you are six and you miss your Best Pal's Party...
the one you spent all week looking forward to...
the one we talked about just last night as we wrapped his gift...
Yeah, well when you miss THAT party
it is heartbreaking.
I felt awful.
As he shook with silent sobs,
I held him on my lap and noticed that his big, huge feet
now hang down almost to my ankles.
I took his face in my hands and asked him to forgive me.
He looked at me with those big green eyes and mumbled,
"It's okay Mom. I can go next year."
I wanted to crawl in a hole.
I called Hudson's Mom.
She saved the day.
"Yeah! We wondered where he was!", she said.
I apologized for being such a flake.
"Send him down for a cupcake and they can hang out for the afternoon," she invited.
Bless her heart.
I scraped my tender little boy up and glued him back together with this news.
He was thrilled and had totally recovered by the time he ran out the door, present in hand.
Thank goodness he is resilient.
Thank you, Gina!
And we owe you one, Hudsy!
We'll make it up to you!
Yeah, so just in case there was any question,
I am definitely NOT in the running for Mother of the Year!
I'm going to hang this photo up where I will be sure to see it... as a reminder... every day...
I have really GOT to pull it back together, uh?


Tricia said...

It might be easier to remember all that you need to do if you give yourself even a little bit of the grace and forgiveness that Jesus gives you. I am praying for you.

Lisa said...

awww.....that picture of him is priceless. Thank goodness for forgiveness! and that our children love us unconditionally as we love them! He is adorable and at least he got to be with his friend for the rest of the day! :) your an awesome Mom!

Megan B said...

OH my. I have been on a roller coaster of emotions reading through all of your latest posts. I have laughed. I have cried. I actually did BOTH on this one single post :) That picture is so beautiful and so pathetic all at once.

meg said...

You know how many times a day my kids have to forgive me?? Well, let's not count! :) Truly, kids are so forgiving, no wonder why we're supposed to become as they are. I have to set my phone to remind me of important events...just make sure you get the a.m. and p.m. right. hahaha! Glad you still got some BFF time, Trev! Love you guys!

michelle johansen said...

I just did the same thing but I remembered alot later then one hour after it ended. Remember we are all human. You are a great mom dont let anyone tell you different.

Clayton, Kelsie & Carter said...

I haven't checked your blog for a week or two. I am so happy to see that you took that beautiful boy home and he is doing well!! He is the same age as my son, who is almost 18 months. I would read your blog and just pray that things would be ok (And cry because I couldn't even relate, but could feel how desperately you wanted things to be all better). And they are!! Thank you for sharing your story, and for making me see life like we all should, through the light of Christ. You are a wonderful example of perfection, and I will strive to be a better mom because you shared your story. Thank goodness for the gospel and thank goodness that you know that baby B was meant to be here, alive and well! (My blog is private. If you feel alarmed, I can add you to it so that you can see who is reading this thing. :)

Absolutelywhyaard said...

Sara, you SERIOUSLY would NOT be the only Mummy who forgot birthday parties. I have too! And I feel soooo bad every time I have. Admittedly it's not happened often but it has happened... that's life.
Don't be too hard on yourself!

Sabrina said...

It's so awesome that he got to go for that cupcake and friend time anyway! woot for that Mommma! My son had a pladate scheduled today with his 2 best buddies (Identical twins) and the Mom FORGOT. My son has been pacing and asking ALL DAY (8:30 am-7:00PM) and I have called and left 3 messages. I got concerned (she has 4 kids) that something happened and wanted to make sure they were ok. My son was totally heartbroken. It was the worst thing ever to tell him we weren't going. :-(

Julianne said...

you have an absolutly adorable little family. i LOVE your blog-and check it almost everyday. :)
just thought i would let you know, & tell you how much you are LOVED by so many people-strangers & not strangers.

Karl and Sadie said...

I forgot to send my little munchkin to his best buds bday party too. It was going to be his first "friend" party. He was so excited, he looked at the invitation everyday and pretended to read it. (He's 3). I sent him to the party watching as he walked to the neighbors with his dad thinking how cute it was that he was going to a bday party. Then I realized we were a day late. Yikes!! I felt so bad!

Shmonae said...

Man, I have done that MORE than once and didn't even have an excuse...I guess if you do it often enough your kids get used to it, or mine do anyway :)
You had a great friend with a great save letting him come over after the party.
All is well.

Anonymous said...

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Check at that funny emo video clip:

Dolly said...

Dear Sara,

You are too hard on yourself. (It takes one to know one... If I may say so as a total stranger to you).

We all do that sort of thing without having been through the wringer that you have just been spun out of. It's just a mom thing in a regular week... but you may be a bit extra sensitive for any slight mom oversight. It's going to be a tricky thing to find your confidence (I'm thinking of an earlier post) but there is not going to be a mistake free zone. You have a high level of accountability so your path to self forgiveness will be harder but when you get there you will have an assurance that is deep. It will come.

Many people who read your blog now, also realize how therapeutic these writings are for you and we are more than happy to be an audience for any bit of healing that WILL inevitably occur. And when you need a time out--or a totally different topic-- that's a given!!!! But when you need to write about your struggle to find your gratitude "in all things" comfort zone, you have an empathic audience.

I love the candor of your writing... the unguarded expose' and the willingness to perhaps unknowingly lift our burdens by sorting through your own. It is a spiritual feeling to be vicariously connected to your ordeal, healing process and especially your MIRACLE.

It's truly been uplifting to have a seriously heartfelt heartache or challenge and then compare my plight with you and the path you are on. I parallel my scenario to Joseph Smith pleading for an end to his suffering, which was answered with a comparison to the greatest suffering of all humanity and then a note for good measure about how short Joseph's suffering would be, again, by comparison.

You make a good point about how your miracle is not entire sanctification for your guilt. Somehow you will reconcile that discrepancy because somewhere you will be whole. Took a while to get to my point... It's simply thank you. Thanks for your example to
me. (Don't let it pressure you to be perfect.) Believe me, the human side of you is what keeps bringing me back..... Help. Insight. Reflection. And one day... one glorious day, healing.... for you. We know you are broken. This blog is part of your repair shop. It's just inspiring to see you in here, pouring your heart and soul out to lift another's burden by sorting through your own. It's the best of ethos, logos and pathos! Aristotle gives you an "A"!

One final thought....

Our loving Creator did not design us to mourn and feel guilt into perpetuity. All things are allowed to be felt immensely, for our good and ultimately for the good of others. You just make our head spin that you connected the dots so fast. In reality, along with the heart felt attempts at showing our continual support, we come here in awe of your leadership. You are very persuasive. That's why we are called followers.

Just hoping we are not too much of a distraction to what your purpose is. If we can take what you offer and pass it forward-- GREAT. But please don't let us get in your way...



Brandi said...

I think it just takes time to get back into the swing of things after an event like that....I am sure that maybe life seems so different and your outlook has changed more to the eternal look of life. I am having trouble with just simple daily task, I can't remember for the life of me.

Ams said...

I don't even know how many times I have done that! Worst ever right? You will get things back together slowly but surely!! Don't beat yourself up my friend!!
((HUGS)) to that beautiful (sad) face!!

Seivert/Webb Family said...

What does this prove?'re BACK TO "NORMAL", seriously, this stuff happens ALL THE TIME to us "normal" ones!!!

Things worked out in the end; that's important too!!!

Tristan said...

Please don't hang that photo! Not because you're son isn't cute but because you deserve more credit than you give yourself! I swear having more than one baby does something to your memory anyway. Since I had #2 I am so forgetful! We're all not perfect moms and even though we try hard every day, we will still continue to make mistakes. Learn, grow, leave the mistakes in the past and keep trying again tomorrow. You did the best you could to mend the mistake and make it right. You are a good mama!

Tracie said...

Hi you don't know me but I have been kinda "blogstalking" you since I read your story on one of my daughters friends' blog. I am so happy for your miracle. You have a beautiful family. What a great gift you have been given. I admire the grace and honesty with which you have handled this trial.

I wondered if I could ask a favor of you? I coach a Jr. High cheerleading squad in the Ogden area. Last year we donated a Christmas tree to the Festival of the Trees for Primary Childrens Medical Center. We had a fun UofU football tree. It sold for $1,400 that went directly to PMC. There was also a darling little red headed boy that has spent a good portion of his life at Primary Childrens, that we dedicated the tree to. He loves the U and things worked out so perfectly. We were able to meet him and take lots of pictures with him.

We do many service projects all year but this was the first time we had donated a tree. It was a life changing experience for some of the kids. They were able to realize how many kids need the services of Primary Childrens. They were in awe at the amount of money it takes to run things at the hospital also.

So many of the trees are dedicated in memory of others. And I love those stories but I love to hear the happy endings that Primary has helped people with too. I think it also helps my cheerleaders when they can see the miracles that the hospital really makes happen every day.

We are planning on donating a tree again this year (2010). I was wondering if you would allow us to dedicate our tree to Bronson and the ordeal your family had to endure. This really is an inspirational story.

Please email me and let me know what you think. My email is Thanks I look forward to hearing from you. :-)

Jenni said...

Ah, don't feel too bad....I've done the same thing! And I had not near the excuse you do! :) You're a great mom and how lucky we are to have such forgiving children.....maybe we could all learn ALOT from our kids. Just like we are told, to be as little children! :)

Tasha said...

Way to call the mom and get it worked out! :)

Renee said...

i just cried thinking of my own 6 year old and the heartaches I have caused her on more than one occasion. I pray for all moms out there that we can do that less! How blessed we are to be moms!

Jennie said...

One of my friends put a link on her blog to your blog just after Bronson's accident. I read it after my children were asleep and bawled. When my kids came into my room the next morning, I held them extra tight and shared with them briefly what had happened (they thought I'd had a bad dream). Since then, I've been a "staker stalker:" One who hasn't posted, but loves keeping up on your blog. I have been so touched by your family. I adore your husband and the strength he's been to you. I'm so glad that you "chose well." But the thing that struck me the most, was how your little boys fasted for Bronson. I used your blog to teach my kids about faith and fasting for family home evening and I think they really got it. They're happy that Bronson's okay. I read about the telethon and was so happy for you that you've begun to heal. But through all of this, I've never commented. Just now, I read the several posts that have followed and felt compelled to commment. I hope that if I'm ever in a similar situation, that just a few short weeks later, I can somehow come out of it with as much strength as you have. I don't even know you, but I could tell immediately that I liked you. And then, after this birthday post, I KNOW that I do. It's hilarious. Oh, and I have SEVERAL posts about NOT winning mother of the year. Everyone could. But not everone admits to it...more people should.

Darcie said...

Sara, this post made me laugh at the end (the mother of the year part). I love a sense of humor.

Just an idea... I'm sure you must have oodles of readers by now, and I'm also guessing that you don't want ads on your blog because you don't want to turn Bronson's accident into a way to make money. But... what if you did have ads and then donated the money to Primary's? Just a thought...

Becca and Jared Anderson said...

I think you are doing the best you can! Don't beat up on yourself! I have been swamped this last week, and just had to get caught up on your blog, and get all the updates. My heart is full, and my heart also aches to think of anyone possibly making unjust or unkind comments at any time throughout this huge ordeal for your family, whether it was on the blog or KSL comments.

I love reading your blog. It is inspirational and heart felt. Your emotions, feelings, and daily experiences are raw, but written beautifully and spiritually--wow! I always leave your blog feeling fulfilled, full of love, full of the spirit, and full of gratitude--gratitude for God's willingness to give you the gift of your son's life. What a precious tender gift! I am so grateful myself to be a mother, and every morning when the sun rises, I get one more day with my children, to be the center of their world, to be their everything, to be their mommy! There is nothing better!

I leave your blog tonight, as I have done many times in the past, each and every time, wanting to be a better mom. After I read your blog each time, I hold my children a little tighter, and for a little longer. I read them an extra bedtime story, I sing an extra song, I lay for a little longer in their beds, and I REALLY say "Goodnight, I Love You!"

I love that you are human and that you forget things, because I forget everything! It makes me smile and makes me feel more comfortable in my own human skin, and then I can tell myself, it's okay!

I still think of your family often, and I love going back and looking at all the pictures of Bronson! He has come so far! I have shared your blog with everyone I know, and will continue doing so because it is beautiful. Bronson's story through your eyes gives hope, strength, peace, love, comfort, and it bears testimony of Him--that He lives and loves us, and He hears us--and those that don't know Him will want to know Him because they know you---and JOY--PURE JOY!!!

Erica said...

I'm loving the picture. it made me laugh so hard (I'm heartless, I know). But I'm glad that all turned out well today!

marlei said...

How precious is that photo. But in the end I bet there was a big smile! Don't be so hard on yourself. You've had plenty on your plate lately and it sounds like your little boy understands. Perhaps he is wise beyond his years.

Anonymous said...

Oh please don't be so hard on yourself. You have been through so much. You are human, We all are! Move forward with happy heart knowing that you are a great mom and your children know can see it in their eyes.

Brenda said...

Ha, ha, that's a great story and it happens to all of us, so it's great that you share so we all know we're all okay!