Today is the day...

This evening we had the amazing opportunity to go back to the hospital.
What? Why!?!
Why BACK to the hospital, you ask?
Well, quite simply, because we needed to go.
KSL Radio invited us to come and assist in their annual fundraiser
for Primary Children's Medical Center.
So of course, we absolutely agreed.

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We were thrilled at the chance to give back in any way.
If there is any way we can help that wonderful place and those amazing people,
we will absolutely do it... for the rest of ever.
They gave us our boy back.
Healed and whole.
How can you ever put a price on the life of your child?
We could pay that hospital bill a hundred times over and never come close to repaying them.
They did what we could not do for ourselves.
Some people believe that medical science and faith are at odds.
At opposite ends of the spectrum.
I believe they are two languages telling the same story.
Seeking the same eventual truth. Perhaps with varying methods.
Or differing means working towards the same end. The same goal.
I believe our loving Father in Heaven guides the hands and the hearts of those here on earth
who have the knowledge and training to assist Him.
I believe that He allows us to do as much as we can do, to the best of our abilities,
to allow us to learn and grow, and to further research and knowledge.
And then I believe He steps in with His grace, and does the rest of the work necessary
to accomplish His will, whatever that may be.
In Bronson's case, it was for him to LIVE.
And not just live, but live HERE.
And not just here, but WHOLE.
Again, we could NOT be more grateful.
Ever so grateful.
Yet this gift we've been given will not go without price, philanthropically speaking.
And we are eager and ready to pay it in whatever way we can.
Expecting much of ourselves and our family.
We will serve willingly wherever we can.
Like at the KSL Radiothon.
And so we dropped everything, made the arrangements and went.
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Which turned out to be very good for me.
And for my soul, still healing.
And even good for Matt, who does NOT like the spotlight.

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Little B was charming, sweet and full of smiles and spunk.
He ate up all the attention.

Was into everything.

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Ran around like crazy.

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Played fetch with the stuffed moose.

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High-fived the tech-guys.

Explored the set.

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Flirted with the team of call takers.

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And won over the hearts of the KSL TV and Radio personalities.

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Like Carole Mikita and Doug Wright.

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What a cutie.
They all loved him.
He ate popcorn from a cup and threw it onto the floor.

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Which we tried our hardest to prevent, but well, that's why parents have hands.
And why they make vacuums.
To clean up messes.

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So we told our story yet again.

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(Twice actually.

TV News and News Radio.)
And asked for help.
Not for us, but for the hospital.
And for other children who need it.
We asked people to open their hearts and their wallets and give to a worthy cause.
There is still plenty of time.
The Radiothon goes through tomorrow.
We aren't the type that like to ask for things.
Especially for money.
But if you feel so inclined,
and if you have a dollar or more to spare,
this would be a wonderful way to spend it.
It all goes toward a deserving child.
Every single penny.
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If you can find it in your heart, click here.

or call here: 1-800-762-PCMC (7262), or locally 801-575-KIDS (5437).

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Maybe we can help another family take their child home!

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Post script:

In reply to some of the questions and comments left in response to this post...

I apologize if I was not clear.

Thank you for allowing me to clarify...

Matt and I chose to participate in the KSL Radiothon

because it raises money to benefit Primary Children's Hospital.

Exclusively.

We were in no way soliciting funds for ourselves.

That facility and the medical personnel who helped to heal our son

will forever be worthy of our time and our efforts.

It is a cause we hope to adopt for the remainder of our lifetime

because it is now near and dear to us.

To be clear, Primary Chidren's Medical Center is a non-profit organization.

Their mission statement is "The child first and always."

Thus, they provide medical care for all children alike,

including needy children from around the entire Intermountain Region,

regardless of that child's ability to pay.

Physicians at the hospital actually donate their services

for patients who recieve charity assistance.

Our hope was that by sharing Bronson's story, we could garner some support for the hospital.

For them to continue to help other children.

Children who can not afford to get well on their own.

There are many annual fundraisers that benefit Primary Children's,

including TV and Radiothons and the door-to-door "Pennies by the Inch" drive.

We hope to be available to assist in many of these efforts over the years.

We will never tire.

We feel that where much is given, much is expected.

And we could not have received a greater gift...

Bronson's life was literally brought back to us.

And the experience we had there was life changing for us as well.

Not only did they give full-time and ever-diligent effort to our child,

even when it seemed unlikely for him to ever recover,

but they cared for us, his parents, while we were in shock, anguish and despair.

They helped us to prepare our other boys for what they were coping with.

Truly, they treated and helped to heal our entire family.

We have very tender feelings towards them and the amazing work they do there.

Every. Single. Day.

Anything that we can do to help them continue in their efforts there

will be a very small price to pay.

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While we were at the hospital, I read a poster with a quote from Abraham Lincoln.

Good ol' Honest Abe.

He really was good.

And honest.

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"To ease another's heartache is to forget one's own."

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It struck me so strongly.
I knew this was the key the moment I saw it.
And we have tried to do that.
Tried to share the surplus of support we have been blessed with.
Tried to share and ease the burdens of others we have met and love.
But today...
Well, today I am making a choice.
This trip to the hospital tonight was as much about healing me
as the last one was about Bronson.
I have decided.
I am done feeling guilty.
I am done being ashamed.
I am done feeling like the poster-face for negligent mothering.
I am done beating myself up for a momentary lapse in judgement.
I am done feeling feeling crappy about all the pain I have caused.
Because I am not perfect.
Never will be perfect.
Not in this life.
But I can make a difference.
I can lift another's burden.
I can look for ways to serve. Give back. Share.
And I have found a voice.
That voice is getting stronger the more that it speaks out.
And as I speak from the keys on this little laptop,
I find my heart full and overflowing, often with words that are not mine alone.
For God has found a way to use me to strengthen others.
To strengthen you.
Perhaps this was not something I did, but something He allowed to happen.
For my own good. And for the benefit of others.
Knowing that I am stronger than I feel.
And have more to share than I knew.
But believing I had the tenacity to discover it.
Knowing Bronson's miracle would lead to others as it's ripples spread,
touching lives around the globe.
And so...
Today is a new day.
The day I learn to turn my pain over

and allow it to be washed away with the joy all around me.
I am still not sure exactly how, but only that it's right.
And that it's time.