Friday, February 26, 2010

In response to this:
(A comment left this morning at 2:44 am:)
"Sara and/or fellow commentator's...
"I am sure you are swamped and don't ever have any time to read or respond to these blog comments,
but I notice as I have read other people's comments, I noticed a few said, "erased by author".
Are there requirements for these kinds of things?
If there are I would love to know,
so that I don't make a mistake and/ or offend anyone."
and another similar inquiry...
.
.
Please know that I do, NOW,
read every blog comment, e-mail and facebook message that comes my way.
In the hospital, that was difficult because of the sheer quantity of comments.
I scanned them and did read most,
gathered their intent and was buoyed up by their sentiment.
So please accept my sincere and heartfelt gratitude.
But my emotional state,
my anxiety about staying by Bronson's side and not leaving,
and my obsessive need to document every detail of the daily occurrences
not to mention my utter lack of sleep
made it difficult to actually read them all or comment in reply.
Even once we were home, I needed a few days to just... BE.
But now that I am trying to function like a real person again, I do make the effort.
Just so you know.
I do hear you.
And thank you... Thank you all for reaching out.
We have felt so loved and supported.
So please don't think that I don't take the time to read
what you take the time to write
and to send.
Because I do.
.
But as for the "erased by author" question, I can not say why.
Many of them have time stamps that are identical or similar to the post above or below.
Perhaps they were duplicates or contained errors that the author wanted to correct?
And to clarify, "erased by author" means they were erased by the author of the comment,
not by me, the author of the post.
I have done no moderation or editing of comments at all.
None.
Not even once.
.
I was told of only one unkind comment that came in to our blog
during the time we were at the hospital.
It was lengthy and pointed, I am told.
A dear friend was alarmed and concerned about me seeing it, fragile as she felt I was.
She petitioned another dear friend, of the tech-geek variety ;),
and together they guessed at my password, until they hacked in to my blogger account
and removed the unkind post before I could see it.
Thanks to them.
Very thoughtful.
I am guessing it included many of the same points
I was reamed for on the KSL comment boards,
after Bronson's story aired on the news.
Regrettably, those I did read.
Until Matt made me stop.
And I'll be honest,
they hurt my feelings.
A lot.
For about two days.
And then I realized that there are many people who do not know me.
Do not understand me.
Do not care to understand me.
Many people who are unhappy.
And who choose to be critical of others.
I believe this is done in an effort to feel better about themselves.
To extract some of their own pain and fling it out onto someone else.
Someone they judge.
Someone they feel that they are better than.
And I was just the one they threw their stones at that day.
These brothers and sisters in spirit who have forgotten me.
But surely they've moved on to someone else by now.
Sad. So sad.
Oh, how I wish they could see themselves the way their Father in Heaven does.
I wish they could see how much they have to share
if only they'd let themselves be opened, and then filled.
Filled with something better and sweeter than the anger, bitterness
and judgement that consumes them.
Oh, friends...
Let us learn not to judge.
But instead allow ourselves to love, unreservedly.
And to forgive, unconditionally.
Let us encircle one another in arms of safety.
With open hearts, willing to see and understand another's anguish.
Let us give freely,
benefit, that casts out doubt.
Let us leave the judging for The Judge.
And let us be masters of mercy.
And benevolence.
And so, my dear anonymous friend,
thank you for your question.
Thank you for the sweet comment that followed.
And thank you for giving me the opportunity to address this issue,
I'm sure you were not the only one wondering.
And please let yourself rest at ease...
I try never to be offended.
If you haven't guessed by now, I am an open book.
For better or for worse, I am outed.
But feelings, I think, are much better out than in.
And besides, offense has to be taken.
Picked up and owned.
And I choose to leave it lying.
Alone, by the side of my path.

67 comments:

Chantal said...

My tears of joy are flowing for you and your family today (just read he's home!)! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your story. I am changed forever. And I am so grateful for that. Thank you! And thank you Bronson! much love!

Kierstin said...

You are truly a wonderful and amazing person, I am learning so very much from you and your wisdom. I love your words here and you are SO right...we should never judge anyone else...just love, support and hope the best for each other...for we are all brothers and sisters and we are truly all in this life together and hopefully helping each other every step of the way. BIG HuGS to you and your sweet family...

Sailor and Co said...

If it makes you feel any better I got slammed today. Bid time. Harsh. I realized (again) I need to continue to find my worth in HIM not others. I am super sensitive. I cried. I won't lie. Then, I prayed for them.

TARA WARTHEN MADSEN said...

It reminds me of an "event" about a month ago at a children's indoor playground. "Wooshi" (Luke) was being a little rough with a younger kid, and when I went over to see what was going on, the child's mother grabbed my son, yelled at him, and then yelled at me: "What's WRONG with your son??!!!" (What's wrong with my son? He's THREE!) I was humiliated. I had to leave the place (in tears, of course). My sister stayed with her son and told me later that the "child" later starting hitting his mother! So, he who casts the first stone... right? :) You're so good and strong to keep walking upright in the Lord, and not to cower to some people's ugliness. Everyone ALWAYS has an opinion... but at least you know that most GOOD mothers would never judge. XOXO

Katie said...

My stomach dropped when Cheryl said you would be on KSL. I have read the comments on quite a few KSL threads, and you have to keep in mind, they are always cruel, always heartless. In this case, it's really not you, it's them. I am so sorry you had to read those, and I hope you can erase them from your mind! ♥

Esther said...

I am always amazed at the heartless KSL comments and wonder if I have EVER met anyone that would speak the cruel opinions I read. I always wonder where these people come from and usually have to make a point to stop reading the comments. It sounds like you have a good persective on things.

Although I don't know you I can tell you have so many amazing qualities that I hope to one day aquire. Thank you for your words and reminding me the things I want to work on. I am so happy things have worked out so well for Bronson and your family.

dottie said...

You are an inspiration to everyone!

Brian and Rebecca Nate said...

I can see your guilt even though I can't see you; I can hear it in your words. I can tell that you are a loving, kind, sincere person and I don't even know you. To go through all that you went through takes a very strong person and I commend you for that. You don't need forgiveness, there is nothing to be forgiven for. You are a BUSY mother of 4 wild boys. Life is all you were doing. EVERY mother has been there. If you haven't been distracted at one time or another then you aren't a very good mother. A mother doesn't have all the time in an entire day to get everything done. Between the laundry and the dishes and the scripture study and the gym and the baths and the grocery shopping and the vacuuming and the..... who has time for it all? You did the best you could.

I truly commend you for telling your story so publicly, I don't know if I would've been strong enough to do so. I look up to you and know you are a good person. I hope you don't let what other people think bother you, because who really cares what they think anyway??? Your Father in Heaven obviously thinks you are a worthy person, worthy enough for a true miracle. Be proud of that and to heck with what other people say. Stay strong and keep believing in yourself.

Briggs: Party of Six said...

The first thing I thought when I read your first blog on February 1st was, "I have done what she did, many times". I have four kids, and the last thing I could do was judge you or criticize you. My heart ached for you as you anguished over what you were going through. I never once thought to "blame" you. I would like to think that not casting a stone is a Christ Like quality, and those who case may need to look for the Light of Our Savior in there lives.
YOu are an inspirtation, and you ave touched so many lives for the better!

Anonymous said...

You are an inspiration!!! I don't know you but have prayed for you and Branson many times over the past month. I'm glad he is doing so well. I appreciate you sharing your story with us. It's always a great reminder to stop and remember what is truly important. Please don't let what others say offend you. Life happens and we all learn from it. You have helped me change my own bath time routine. Please take care.

debbie said...

I was so hoping you wouldn't read the KSL comments. I created an account that day just to comment and defend you a couple times. I felt sick about the comments for the rest of the day.

From comments I've seen on some other articles, I think some people just get on there to be mean on purpose. For no reason really. It is sad.

debbie said...

The above comment reminded me to mention that because of your story my sister has changed her bath time routine. Thank you for being so brave and sharing your story! It really is helping so many people in different ways.

Annalee and Buck said...

I work at Utah Valley Hospital in the emergencey room where they worked on Bronson, and even though I wasn't there that day he came in, my co-workers have told me how blessed they feel to have done everything they could to save your son, and it's incredibly rewarding when we see miracles like this happen. Your story has been such in inspiration that I have shared it with everyone that I know and love and it's miracles like this that make our job more than worth it. You are an incredibly stong person and I admire your strength and courage. I do CPR on people on average once every 2 weeks without thinking twice about it but if I had to do it on my own child I don't know if could. You're an amazing woman with a beautiful family and I just wanted to thank you for sharing your miracle with the world. My husband and I both have signed up for the B strong 5K run and I can't wait. Thank you

Sabra said...

Amen sister. I love the saying, "we are as sick as our secrets." Sharing our feelings not only helps ourselves but obviously, especially in your case can help thousands of others. I think you are an AMAZING woman Sara.

partypatt said...

My heart goes out to you. I want to tell you what happened in my family. When I was 5 and my brother was 4, we went on an outing to a lake in NJ, where we lived. There was a lifeguard on duty and my mother and some of her siblings were there too. Somehow my brother disappeared and was found floating in about 3' of water. The lifeguard tried to revive him but he was pronounced dead at the hospital. My mother has lived with guilt all her life but it was an accident. What happened to Bronson was an accident too. You're so lucky that he was revived. He is so beautiful...it's wonderful and brave of you to share your story in such a public way. I'm positive there are those who have been helped by your story and example. Thank you for sharing your story, you are very brave. May Heavenly Father bless you always.

The.Marcellus.Family said...

I am glad you didn't see that comment left by the heartless person who decided to leave you it. When I saw it I freaked out. I was on fire, i could feel my face getting red and hot as I continued to read on.
What stupid people.

I'm glad your doing good.
I hope your house has gotten back into order.:)

Natalie said...

I don't normally leave comments for people I don't know, but I have here. I don't even know you and I couldn't read comments on KSL. People are cruel. It's horrible that people have to be so judgemental and it's just wrong. Especially when most people admire you because you have taught us all so much. You have incredible strength, you love your children, you have the most amazing faith and so many other things. I thank you for sharing your story.

Absolutelywhyaard said...

I haven't yet read this blog post in it's entirety - I will... I just wanted to respond to something first... Sara you do not have to JUSTIFY or explain yourself. Normal people understand you've more than had your hands full. I have emailed you personally twice, I DO NOT expect a reply! You've had enough going on and still will for many months to come as you grapple with the enormity of what you and your family have just experienced.

Be at peace. There is a reason the Lord tells us not to judge others... We never know what someone is truly going through or what is in their heart. I can well imagine it would be soooooooooooo hard to keep up with every comment. I am certain I would have given up by now. There are only so many hours in a day! Trust me, I have 9 children, I KNOW!!!!!!!!

Take it easy, just worry about you and Matt and the boys. Nothing much else matters. It is so nice people write and enquire and leave comments, don't get me wrong, I know how you DO appreciate them! I am just saying...sometimes... well given what you've been through these things take precedence. Sometimes others need a reality check - they cannot imagine what your life has been like recently!

People judge me all the time with my brood. But until you have walked a mile in my shoes, I say 'leave me alone!' It's none of anybody's business whether you read every comment and absorb it.
You're only human after all!!!!!!!!

God bless!
Michelle

Absolutelywhyaard said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Porter's said...

I look forward to reading your blog every day. You are a ROCK! As far as the people out there that judge. I would hate to be you when the lord comes again. You are doing an amzing job.

{jane} said...

sara su- if it's possible, you are becoming an even more gifted writer. this one was very poem-like, as always, i'm so impressed! ;)

Jessica said...

So many times I feel the guilt of my sons disease. I feel like others look at him and wonder what I did wrong, I wish I could speak as you do and have the same peace you have in your heart. thank you for the gentle reminder that they are our brothers and sisters, and they have forgotten. This post has just brought me to tears. Thank you, and Thank you for sharing this story of little Bronson with the Blogging world. It truly is an inspirational one.

Anonymous said...

I will only be echoing other comments. I was so relieved to read you are through with guilt - you have nothing to be guilty about (although living this is not always as easy as knowing this). I forget which entry I was reading, you were discussing the help and support you have received throughout this time. While I was reading it - I kept thinking: 'what would Sara do if it were her best friend in this situation?' you would love, support and do all you could for her. This is all any 'non-KSL' contributor has wanted to do for you and your family.
I am also amazed you're reading these blog comments and the thousands of emails - we don't need this additional and precious time of yours. I appreciate your entries and love reading the updates on how well your family is doing. Very happy for you and your family.
From England

nancy said...

Sometimes you don't think it posted and you try again. Then look back and see it somehow went 4 times! So, you erase 3 of them.

Kristy said...

I agree with the thoughts of many above. The comments on KSL.com are unfortunately almost always harsh and heartless...not matter what the story. I had a friend on probably a year ago doing a story on couponing of all things and they were TOTALLY reaming her. Thanks for sharing your story. I can only imagine how difficult it is to share the details you have with us. I appreciate your example and openness. Thanks again!

Matt and Brianna said...

You ROCK Sarah!!! I am constantly amazed with you. I just have to tell you that my sweet autistic children LOVE watching the "hospital" video. That's what Jack calls it. It calms him. I think between the songs, and the Spirit that is SO strong when you watch it, his sweet spirit is drawn to it. He LITERALLY asks to watch it all day!! :) So HE thanks you!! Loves to the Staker family!!

Kristy said...

Oh...and I just found out my good friend Codey was one of your nurses the first few days at PCMC! What a small world...

Jenni said...

I don't know you, but I think you are amazing! Please ignore those that have negative things to say about you.

Sarah said...

I just went and read the comments on KSL. What's wrong with those people? I'm so glad your husband made you stop. When I read your story, I cried and cried because every good, honest mother knows how easy it can be to get distracted and make a mistake. I'm so grateful he's okay. I've never prayed so hard for a stranger. Thanks for sharing your story. I'm sure it was therapeutic for you, but it has blessed the lives of millions, including mine.

Amber said...

I was you. I have walked away. Just. For. A. Second. Never again. Because of you. Because of Bronson.

What you did has become the most extraordinary mistake you will ever make in your life. You have set off a chain reaction that you may never fully comprehend. Your story has spread across the entire nation, to run-down mothers who will now think twice before turning their back. To parents who are brushing up on their CPR knowledge. To aching couples who have lost a little one of their own who are finding comfort in the fact that HE LIVED.

And because he lived, we have all been blessed by his story. Your courage. Your family's faith.

So if anyone ever leaves a cruel remark about this being your fault, embrace it. This is your fault. This amazing story that has touched millions and done more good than you would have ever had the opportunity to do otherwise, this miracle that has renewed faith and strengthened testimonies, this life changing moment is your fault. You were a tool in God's hands. And no one can thank you enough for what you have done, for this "mistake" you've made. Ever.

melanie said...

What a beautiful post. Its true that going through the fire solidifies our testimonies like no other thing, and now you have so many beautiful, inspiring truths to share with the world. I bet you feel like yelling out to those sad people, LISTEN! Dont you get how much happier you could be? i am grateful for your posts, they remind me how precious motherhood is, how merciful and loving our father in heaven is.
Still praying for ya just 'cuz we love your family,
Melanie Segalla (and co.) : )

Sabrina said...

I just wanted to thank you for sharing your story. Everything that happened. Yesterday AM as I put my 3 yr old and 1 yr old girls into the tub, I realized I hadn't brought a diaper for the 1 yr old. I knew there weren't any in her room, and the closest diaper was downstairs...down 14 stairs, through the kitchen, and in the family room cupboard. So very far away. In that instant I felt the need to run as fast as I could and fetch the diaper. Then I though of you, and I thought of Bronson and I stayed right where I was. About 10 seconds later my 1 yr old slipped, bumped her head and went under the water. She was ok, but I was right there to scoop her out. At that very moment I was never so very grateful for a 2nd thought in my life. Thank you for being the angel on my shoulder!

Brenda @Just a Bed of Roses said...

I wont even let myself read a comment on ksl, they should do away with comments as the people who comment are just unhappy and evil. They are purposely there to be crude rude and ugly. We do have to feel sorry for them, that was nice of you to be so kind of them. Never let anything you read there pop into your precious mind dear woman.

Anonymous said...

We are an imperfect race, and with that comes all kind of slander and ugliness. Sarah, you have changed my every "its just for a minute" habits. I am 26 with a four year old and a seven month old, and every time I think,"Let me go off for a minute " I remember the times I cried sitting at this laptop. I have learned to more attentive and aware of EVERY strap, buckle, mat, safety anythin ;) for my babies. God has forgiven us all of our sin, that's all you need to focus on. And just know that I (along with others, surely) UNDERSTAND. We have kids, we know that it was an accident. We thank God that He watched our babies while we went off to do whatever seemed more urgent. God is good and FORGIVING, always. Have a BLESSED DAY.

Candace Wright said...

I loved this post. You expressed it so poetically, "offense has to be taken. Picked up and owned." I love that truth. It inspires me to make sure I don't take "it" to heart, but simply move on. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

I know you are swamped with emails and comments, but when you get a moment I would love to know how Bronson is doing..any noticable effects of the accidents or does he still need Physical Therapy...I prayed sooo much for him during your hospital stay and because of your blog, I feel like I know your entire family. Just curious as to how is adjusting to life back at home. Much Love to your family.

somewhereinthyme said...

I am sorry that you received any unkind comments at all from anyone. You have so bravely shared with the blogger world and I do not even know you but can sense your love and concern for your child, your family, and even your community. You expressed a mother's love so beautifully and gave glory to God when He intervened. Thank you for your bravery and truth. No judgments here.

Memmott Family said...

You are an inspiration to all of us, and thank you for allowing us all to be a part of your families life at this time.. I think you have helped so many of us. I would often leave my kids bathing together all the time. I have seen commercials by Primary children's and I ignore them. I now NEVER leave my kids in the bathtub by themselves. So thank you for sharing your story. It has helped us all:)
liz

Jaime Stephens said...

Can i just say I hate the comments on KSL.. I often find myself skimming through them on some stories I look through and I think it's people that like to raise hell that comment.. Your amazing.. I am a stranger who really looks up to you.

Jennettehogan said...

I am a stranger to you but I have been following your blog for almost a month now. I wanted to say that from what I have been reading and seeing, I think that you are a great mom. I also wanted to point out that KSL comments simply SUCK. Unfortunately after being a newsworthy story, I was a target of KSL comments a few years ago. I made the mistake of reading the comments and, at the time, they were very upsetting to me. As months went on, I would read other comments every now and then regarding KSL recent stories and came to the conclusion that they people who left those mean comments were basically sad and bitter people and I began to feel sorry for them. Now, I very rarely read the comments section. Try not to let them bother you as the reason why they are posted is because they want them to bother you!

The Morris Family said...

My friend emailed me your blog a few weeks past and I admit that I have become a blog stalker. I am amazed at you and your family's resiliance! I have cried and cried over many of your posts and wonder how you get through it and then I think that the Lord doesn't give us anything we can't handle. It boggles my mind that people would leave such nasty, mean remarks about someone they don't even know. How many times we have all done something that we would like to forget or regret doing!?! I know I have, and it is nice to know that I am not the only one out there. Thank you for letting us get to know you and your family. You are an inspiration of Love and Forgiveness!
Thank you!!!

zantfamily said...

What a strong story. I anticipate anxiously when it is time for my husband and I to start our own family. I will always remember your story, and always remember what kind of mother you are -a wonderful one- and will pray for your kind of strength, poise, and grace. I have learned from your story, immensely. Thank-you for sharing. What a perfect family you have, and how lucky your children are to be raised by such great parents who rely on our Heavenly Father to guide them, and how lucky the are to be raised in the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and the knowledge they already have of Him. Thank-you for all you have shared again.

Loralee and the gang... said...

I have a hard time understanding why people don't stop and think before they go off on their tirades. I just have to believe that they have an unhappiness in them that warps their common sense. Anyone who has children knows that what happened to you could so easily happen to any one of us...accidents Happen...
I so admire your grace and courage during such a difficult and trying time, and your committment to give back.

Sheila said...

Sara,

Just a quick note to thank you so much for sharing your story and your testimony. I have four kids as well, and I am sure they were wondering why I was so choked up and insistent that we fast for someone we had never even met! You write beautifully, but it is the Spirit one feels while reading your posts that really touch people's lives. You have truly touched mine, and I am a better person for having heard your story (I came across your blog in a roundabout way right after the accident).

With much love and many blessings to you and your family,

Sheila B. (Palmer, Alaska)

Natalie and Travis said...

Sara you're such an example to me, I just keep thinking how graceful and strong and humble you are. Thanks for being such an awesome big sister. Love you!

Tristan said...

Reading the KSL critic comments I learned is a waste of time in my opinion. I find it really interesting that some of those people have nothing else better to do than to argue with each other through comments. They can be so mean to each other! If you notice, a lot of the same people are the critics on other articles too. Who has time to spread that much nastiness!?! Matt was a smart husband to pull you away from that negativity!

Sarahie said...

I discovered your blog while you were in the hospital and was so very touched by it. I love how openly you bear your testimony and how you seem to be so honest in the way you live. I think it is a good and healthy attitude to be who you are and not worry about the negativity that will inevitably come. The most important thing is to love the Lord and your family and to live the Gospel. I look forward to reading your blog and getting to know you better and be uplifted by your attitude and perspective. I feel like we are friends even though I will probably never meet you. Thanks for that.

Anonymous said...

I am one of the many in the Salt Lake Valley who have heard your story and started to read your blog. You are a beautiful writer.

I am at the lowest point I have ever been, and your strength and courage, your beautiful words keep me going.

Thank you so much. Your strength stretches out to much more than you can see. As crazy as it may sound, your blog saved my life.

Thank you.

Kristi said...

It's amazing how an experience like this will make a person one of the least judgmental out there. I'll confess I had a "deleted by author" comment, followed by a different comment : )

When I read your story I could relate to you so much, due to a similar experience. In the comment I shared my experience, but then I deleted it because, unlike you, I am not quite ready to share with the world and I realized the comment shouldn't have been about my own story but should have focused on you and your family and how much I was hoping and praying for you.

But now that time has passed and I am sure you are dealing with much of the same things I have been dealing with for the last six months....flash backs, nightmares, sleepless nights, etc. I do want you to know that there are those of us out there who can relate to you so much.

Those of us who will never judge a mother no matter what happens.

Because I was the most careful, doublechecking, cautious, paranoid mom out there. And a bad thing happened that was my fault, and forever and always I will never judge or blame.

Anyways, it thrills me beyond compare to see pictures of a happy Bronson on here and to know that my little baby isn't the only one who got a second shot at life. That she's not the only one living on borrowed time.

I would definitely never choose to go through my experience again, but the perspective I've gained and the appreciation for the fragile nature of life are completely priceless!

Here's to a new month for you! And a fresh start, and to a whole month having passed since the "incident"!

Keeping you in my prayers!

Tiffany said...

Hi! You don't know me, but I have been following your story. I understand the heartache and I have prayed for your family, I have cried and rejoiced with you. The way you express your thoughts and feelings is actually pretty amazing to me. I also understand your gratitude to PCMC. Their staff is wonderful.

You see a few years ago my niece was in an accident and sent to PCMC. The doctors and nurses were very kind, and the counselors helped when it came time to make that dreaded decision. My niece didn’t make it. But the effort and time that was given to our family meant a great deal. I know my brother and sister-in-law are still suffering from the guilt that you have described. They too were victims of cruel words from news postings. To see your strength through this gives me hope, because my brother and sister-in-law are not able to let go of their guilt. How? How did you finally forgive yourself? How did you let it go?

Holly said...

To clarify, I too left a couple of "deleted by author" comments on a previous post. For some reason when I went to publish my comment, it made multiple identical comments instead. So I deleted the extra ones.
Still think about your family daily and hope you are doing well.

Amy said...

Thank you ever so much for sharing your empowering story with the world, and mostly with me. I read it from start to finish with tears brimming and a renewed sense of what's important...I will always remember you and your way with words to enlighten me to the work of a mother and the joys and heartaches that come with it. Your family is truly amazing and anyone who judges differently surely has their own vices to get over. You, on the other hand seem to have an amazing grasp on the reality of the situation and a testimony that has surely grown and touched lives you never knew you would touch. Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart, and may God continue to bless you and your sweet family.

Amy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
cmraven said...

A couple of the "erased by author" were mine. My computer was couple posting them. They were definitely not judgemental. I could not judge you for something that I have done a million times, Im sure. I could not judge your for the momentary lapse of attention paid to your boys. Anyway, it's not my job to judge. Those that do, sadly, are going to have a rough time ahead... Hang in there! I love reading your blog now and I love the pictures of your boys... and the music.

Anonymous said...

Hmm that's very interessting but actually i have a hard time visualizing it... wonder how others think about this..

Sass!!! said...

I "stumbled" across your blog,,, your photos of your darling boys caught my eye. I could not help but pause and read more. Your words are beautiful, and can not imagine the trauma you have been through this year. I am so happy to hear that Bronson is going to be OK. I am sure he will grow up to be something VERY SPECIAL,, there is a REASON he is still with your family.
I am an American living in Tokyo--I have spent the last 2 hours reading your blog. Bless you---- to your entire family, and friends. Thank you for sharing and making this public, at first I thought,, HOW could she be blogging about this, but after reading I can tell it was very necessary for you to do. Again thank you for sharing, have a great Spring you deserve it!!!
Sass !!

Jordan Leigh Griffin said...

I bawled my eyes out when I read your blog about what happened. It's probably the scariest thing you will ever face in your life. You got through it though. You have your darling family. And as you read everyone's comments, know that even though there's a few pricks out there who want to burst your bubble, there's a hundred thousand of us who can only imagine the hell you've been through, and are standing behind you. So when you read someone's hurtful comment, let it roll off your shoulder. Don't let it soak through and dampen your day. There are people out there who WANT to hurt you. WANT to feel like they're better than you. Seek power over you, even though they've never met you. Don't let them get to you. They want you to feel pain. They want to increase your agony, even though you already hurt so much. But put yourself in a mindset where you've already maxed out how much negativity you can feel from this nightmare, and even though the words are meant to hurt, in reality... I don't understand how you can hurt any more. I fasted for you and your family. I keep you in my prayers. It's time to heal. So don't let these fools get you down.

You have such a beautiful family, and I admire the new outlook you have on life and it's importance. And I am so thankful to our heavenly father that even though little Bronson was almost called back home... he realized how much you needed him to stay. This little boy is a miracle. And I know that you will cherish him for the rest of your life, cherish all of them.

thehopelessromantik said...
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Jordan Leigh Griffin said...

*continued from above*

I work part time, so there isn't much money to go around... and I'm not going to deny it, I'm about as forgetful as it gets... [recall the birthday party, and how it was forgotten even though it was talked about the night before... I can't tell you how much I do the exact same thing.] But if I have extra cash in a paycheck, and I remember... I want to donate it to your medical bills. This experience itself is more than a parent should ever have to deal with in a lifetime, but the added financial stress is just too much.

You are so brave. Sharing your story, with all the details that anyone else would omit... taking the hits from people who just don't understand... taking your heart out and displaying it for everyone to pass judgement on, all over the world... you are incredible. And I am so happy for you, that your family is still intact. And though you MUST have been drained -- some of your posts definitely conveyed that thorough exhaustion -- you pulled through, and you will get stronger.

My aunt Tracy has two kids, and her husband was an army nurse. He got sick with something they never figured out, but he needed pain medication. Soon, though he was better, he discovered that he was addicted. Last easter, he was found dead, after he overdosed on his pain medications, widowing her and leaving their son and daughter [only 7 and 4 years old] without a dad. These past 11 months have been hell for her, and she's been struggling so hard to pull through. She tries so hard, but it's impossible to be running at 100%. But she does everything she can for her kids. She's a supermom. And I can already tell, you're going to be the same. It's going to be hard. You're going to be stressed out. You'll feel like you're not doing good enough. But everyone else will see all of your effort, and though you'll probably deny it, we'll call you a supermom. :]

When things get rough... when the dishes pile up and you put too much soap in the washing machine, making your laundry room full of bubbles, and the boys are making it clear that they're hungry but dinner isn't started yet..... don't give up. Remember this ordeal, and how you made it through. Let it strengthen you. Everyone has rough days, but I doubt you'll have days as rough as they were just weeks ago. And even though it's inevitable that things will get hectic, you've made it through something that nobody should ever have to go through. So you can make it through the chaos.

You can do it. You can do anything.

Jennifer said...

I'm sure I will be slammed, deleted or otherwise, but I feel this must be said. Leaving your child unattended in the bathtub is one of the "cardinal sins" of parenting. There is simply No excuse for it EVER. I am thrilled that your son is ok, and that you have learned your lesson, however, I feel it is rediculous that these people are elevating and praising YOU because a team of doctors saved your son from the effects of your neglectful descision.

Lizzy said...

I don't say this in any attempt to make you out to be anymore amazing than that of all of God's children, but you shine, His light within you is bright and you shine. Thank you for sharing your beautiful light, and not because you try...you just do. You don't know me from Adam, I live in Austin, TX. But I saw your story on the Today show, and as soon as your clip was over, I googled you. Long story short, I am so thankful I did. Thank you for sharing the beauty of the light of Christ that is so potent within you! Thank you, thank you, thank you...

Julianna said...
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Anonymous said...

Dumb twat. I will judge you because you are an unfit parent that LET HER BABY DROWN. Dumb fucking bitch.

wendy said...

I love what you said about offense has to be taken. When my family went through our 40 day hospital tragedy we did sometimes take it. It is hard for me to teach my husband and older child how to drop it. I had a carepage (cooperwilles)that I did to let people "in" on what we were going through. Many were good to follow. Some ward members and family members were not. How do you recommend emotionaly processing people who did not support us? It is still difficult for me.

thehopelessromantik said...

Why are these people so horrible? So judgemental? I have a question for you. Does saying these things really make you feel better? Do you feel better about yourself when you say these things?

Sara, keep on shining brightly.
The words sting, but the only words that matter are those of our Heavenly Father.

Ashley Thalman said...

People who throw stones feel so threatened by their own finite nature, so scared to be imperfect. I am so sorry about the unkind things people said. A close friend of mine was recently tormented by KSL too! Good for you for being strong!

Anonymous said...

I do not know, I do not know