Monday, February 8, 2010

Wiggle worm...

Auntie Bugud, this is for you...
(before you go completely manic from the isolation and the not knowing...)
.
Sorry this update has been so long in coming... it's just been a tad bit busy!
But I hope you'll agree it was worth the wait...
.
We are still not back to where we were three days ago,
(no tracking yet, and still a lot of open-eyed blank staring)
but we are getting occasional eye contact!
Here's proof!
.
.
As of early Saturday morning, Bronson has 2 new periphreal IV's.
Crazy how many times this poor kid has had to be punctured, poked and probed.
Also crazy how little I care about those tiny little things any more.
Before this, I would get all worked up about a tiny scratch or scrape on my perfect little child.
Let alone a big ol' nasty bruise.
But let's face it, once your kid has been on life support for a few days,
a needle poke seems like a whole lot of nothin'.
So, the IV in his right arm got a little leaky,
and they put a brand spankin' new one back into his left.
.
He passed his 9 am SBT with flying colors.
Perfect breathing without the ventilator for an hour.
But by 11, he was having increasing difficulty with his respirations, even on the vent.
He was pulling really hard with each retraction, getting more and more agitated.
I just feel so helpless to see him like that.
They took him off the vent long enough to bag and suction him.
I think I held my breath the whole time.
So, so scary.
The RT came and increased his pressure support back up to 12.
By noon he was relaxed and had started to get his color back.
.
His brothers came for a visit around 2.
Bronson was in the middle of another SBT,
so we took a break while he slept and went up to the Children's Room with them.
Daynen just looks so big all of the sudden!
Why do they always wait to grow up until you miss a day or two of their lives?
Then they look so different!
Crazy!
Kaden made a paper mache mask and played in the arcade for a bit with Matt.
A racing game, I think.
Trevan colored a poster and then played Foosball with a hospital volunteer.
Daynen, well, he was Daynen.
He ran around like crazy and played with every toy he could get his hands on.
What a nut! I forgot how much he makes me chuckle.
Man, I miss those boys...
.
Back up in B's room at 3, we found that he'd passed his SBT.
Yay! One more sign of encouragement!
.
Then, late last evening, the RT felt it was safe to hold him.
It is quite a process...
They have to rearrange the room to accommodate all the tubes and wires.
Wheel the IV and Meds Pump Stand all the way around the bed.
Safety pin the vent tubes to your shoulder to hold them in place.
Position about 4 pillows to support him and all his miscellaneous paraphernalia.
Kind of a laborious task.
But definitely worth it!
I told Matt to go first.
Bronson slept through it the night before, but this time he became increasingly agitated.
We had to discontinue and settle him back in bed at about 11:30.
.
We were all worn out. I could barely keep my eyes open!
We wheeled our big fat bags down the hall to the Parent Sleep Rooms
and looked for the Post-it Note marking our door.
There was no Post-it Note marking our door.
They'd forgotten to request one for us.
.
Who could we call at 12:30 for a bed?
The gave us a list of hotels that offer discounts to PCMC parents.
Matt decided we should go home.
By the time we would call and find a hotel with availability, get there,
check in and get settled, we could be home, he said.
I get anxiety at the thought of leaving my baby.
That is how we got into this mess...
.
I was exhausted.
I cried as we pulled our bags out the front doors of the hospital,
across the courtyard and into the parking garage to find Matt's truck.
The first time I'd set foot any farther from his room than the cafeteria.
Leaving our boy upstairs... alone.
.
Matt phoned Alli and woke her up to warn her we were on our way.
We would just sneak in and sleep downstairs in our spare bedroom, he said.
We just didn't want to startle her coming in.
.
I reclined the seat in his truck and cozied up in my blanket.
We chatted for the first few minutes of the drive, but then suddenly I woke and we were home.
Our wonderful, thoughtful Alli had changed the sheets on our bed and insisted we sleep in it.
I was too much of a wreck to argue.
.
We slept like parents who haven't in a week.
We woke early. Before the boys.
Emptied our bags of dirty laundry. Repacked them.
Showered in our own shower.
Oh...
The shower...
Right by the tub...
I tried not to look at it as I walked past.
But as I finished my shower and went to step out, there was no bath mat.
Where was the bath mat?
Why did we have no bath mat?
And then I remembered it'd been covered in Bronson's breakfast during CPR.
Thank you to whoever threw it away.
I stood there, cold and shivering, trying not to remember as the scene flashed through my mind.
I could not stand there to get dressed.
There will have to be a new place now.
.
Somehow Matt got me to finish getting dressed.
Kaden woke.
We had a sweet few moments, one on one.
Matt explained how to fast for strength.
Kaden said he might bear his testimony in church.
I asked him what he'd say. I wished I could be in two places at once.
We knelt and prayed to begin our fast.
We were in the truck ready to head back by 9 am this morning.
The neighborhood was quiet as we drove through.
I thought fondly, gratefully of my neighbors and friends as we passed each house.
Wondering when I might see them next.
.
We called the hospital en route.
Bronson had slept soundly.
A sigh of relief.
We pulled in just before 10 am.
We wheeled our bags through the cold, empty hallways.
Smiling and waving to the now familiar faces as we passed.
.
We went in to see our boy.
He survived another night.
Even without me by his bedside.
He's a champ.
Somehow I survived it, too.
.
Sacrament Meeting is held in an auditorium on the 3rd floor at 10:30.
We walked into the room hand in hand to meet the warm, welcoming gazes
of doctors, nurses, parents, various patients and the angel volunteers.
It was a group of about 60.
We sang and we prayed with strangers we felt strangely akin to.
The Sacrament was blessed and passed.
I thought how broken our hearts were.
How contrite our spirits.
Now, more than ever before.
The Sacramental Prayers had new meaning as I heard the promises again with tender, new ears.
Oh, how grateful and unworthy I am to take His name upon me.
Oh, how I need to remember Him, always.
Oh, how I need His spirit to be with me, to comfort and guide me.
And oh, how grateful I am for His cleansing blood. Which was shed for me.
Just a handful of testimonies were born.
Humble. Touching. Powerful.
We both quivered as we tried to sing the closing song.
A familiar favorite, now with new and deeper meaning.
"Because I have been given much, I too must give.
Because of thy great bounty Lord, each day I live.
I shall divide my gifts from thee with every brother that I see,
who has the need of help from me.
Because I have been sheltered, fed by thy good care.
I can not see another's lack and I not share.
My glowing fire, my loaf of bread, my roof's safe shelter overhead,
That he too may be comforted.
Because I have been blessed by thy great love, dear Lord.
I'll share thy love again according to thy word.
I shall give love to those in need, I'll show that love by word and deed
Thus shall my thanks be thanks indeed."
I bowed my head as the closing prayer was offered and promised my Father in Heaven
that I would never pass up an opportunity to serve someone in need
if I had the means to help them.
I am so unequal to the blessings that are continually poured out upon me and my little family.
Many from Him, and many by those of you who serve Him faithfully.
If I spent the rest of my days in constant service,
I could never repay you for all of the kindnesses extended to us.
Let alone my debt to Him.
.
We arrived back in Bronson's room feeling nourished and strong.
we spent a couple of quiet hours listening to Primary Songs and reading.
He passed another SBT but then we found him struggling.

As soon as it was over, he began to seem tachypneic ( pronounced tah-kip-nic).

That's a big fancy way to say he was breathing really fast and hard,

with a heart rate to match.

He seemed to be pulling in so hard for air. Like breathing through a straw.

Retractions heavy. Head bobbing. Looking exhausted.

They bagged and suctioned him.

I hate that.

.

A little after 4, I noticed his tummy looked a little too rounded.

It was unmistakably distended.

I pointed it out to Molly, the Nurse, today.

She agreed.

She called in Cory, the Nurse Practitioner,

and together they decided another NG (Nasal Gastric) Tube was the best course of action.

Using a large syringe, she pulled out over 180 cc of trapped air

and about 50 more cc of stomach fluid. Poor kid.

Once out, it seemed to relieve the pressure and his tummy softened and looked normal again.

.

A little after 6, he had his 8th poopy diaper of the day.

As I changed it and weighed it for the nurse, I noticed that his poor bum is looking quite red.

Not just a normal red, but bumpy and fierce.

I knew right away it was yeast from the antibiotics.

Molly called Cory again, and they both concurred.

They wrote up an order for Nyastatin ointment.

.

Around 8, they started him on his final SBT for the day.

He was resting so soundly, I wondered if it was really worth bothering him.

The RT assured me that it was worth the exercise

if we want to strengthen his little lungs enough to have a chance at extubation tomorrow.

Alright, already...

He sailed through it.
Yay!
.
The only other thing worth mentioning is that he found his own new little groove today.
He has figured out how to wiggle worm his way down into the crib
so that he is laying at a diagonal,
.
.
with his right arm up above his head
often grabbing the siderail pole
.
.
and his left foot pressing up against or hanging out of the other side.
.
.
And usually tapping.
He is insistent about maintaining this position!
(Funny because he does that at home!)
Molly, Matt and I all tried for several hours
to straighten him into a more comfortable looking position,
propped up and laying straight, but he was NOT havin' it!
It only took him about 30 seconds to rerrange himself
RIGHT back to the way he wants to be, each time.
We finally gave up trying!
Hey, if that's how he's comfy... Whatev!
.
He has also started doing this crazy yoga maneuver, something like a complete backbend.
He doesn't seem to be particularly agitated or bothered when he does it,
just every so often, but dang!
.
.
He wants outta this bed!
He's a strong little sucker!

195 comments:

Sue said...

So wonderful to see your little wiggle worm squirming around and making eye contact! Rock on, Bronson!

I'm so glad you were able to attend sacrament meeting, and listen to the sacrament prayers with new ears. It is amazing that our Father's grace allows us to begin anew each time we partake of the sacrament. There is no end to His love.

Love you, pray for you, and always, always I'm expressing gratitude for the kindness and compassion you and Matt share with one another.

Camille said...

Oh my heart aches for you and your family. So glad things seem to be improving! I'll bet you can't wait to get him home, healthy, and tube-less so you can cradle him and rock him without any problem!

The.Marcellus.Family said...

You have no clue who I am. I am aware of that. I found your blog through friends who have been praying for you.

I have to say I admire your strength. It looks like Bronson does too:) The yoga move looks almost like a crab walk haha. He looks like he really is doing alot better. I think it has to do with such strong parents/family/doctors/ everything.

I know how it feels to leave your baby in the hospital. I just had my first and she was in the hospital for a whole month, she was 9 weeks early. Little stinker just HAD to be born on Christmas.

Either way, I am NOT comparing my situation to your, just thought I would let you know your not alone in feeling guilty about leaving. I felt that way every day we left for home. It feels wrong to leave them there. Thank God for such talented people who keep our babies alive.

He'll do just fine:) He is one strong little boy.

Love from Garland,Utah

-Donna

Jen said...

I wanted to let you know that even my 5 yr old fasted for you guys yesterday. And it seems he never forgets about you guys during his prayers. Hope you know how many strangers are praying for you. (Houston, Texas)

Stephanie said...

Oh thank God!!!!! Amazing progress!! I found myself checking your site two or three times...an hour yesterday...hoping for an update!!

Amazing.

Stephanie in Ontario, Canada

Anonymous said...

Praying for your sweet boy!!! We do not know one another, but I wanted you to know your sweet baby is in my thoughts, and prayers.

Linda(Alabama)

silke@the-jakobs.de said...

That's what I do too. :-) I check your website at least 10 times a day... probably even more.
I was so happy to read that you went home, slept in your own bed... And it really sounds like Bronson is doing much better. I am keeping my fingers crossed for the extubation tomorrow!!
Love from the strangers in Germany

Stacey said...

My husband and I went to the Manhatten Temple on Saturday and placed your sweet family on the prayer roll. There are many stangers around the world praying for you and your little B.

I know that just as there are many blessings given in the sacrament ordinance, there are also many, many choice blessings given to YOU from your temple covenants. YOU have been blessed to bear the burdens that have been placed upon your shoulders - and with your great faith in the Savior - I KNOW that He will help lighten your heavy load at this time and strengthen you in every tiny aspect of your life.

Much love from Pennsylvania.

Stacy W. said...

My heart aches for you and I have been checking back frequently for updates. What a beautiful, wonderful photo of his eye contact. I am praying for your family!!!

The Daniel Family said...

Glad to hear that Bronson is making progress!! He was in our fast yesterday and has been in our prayers for many days. I hope that today he will continue to progress. We will continue to pray for you and your sweet family!!

nikkipicky said...

I too am a stranger to you. I found your blog through a friend on facebook.

I read your blog and am reminded of so many memories of PCMC. We have spent many nights there in the last 3 years with our now 16 year old son. Only we had our own bed in his room in the CSU and luckily we haven't been since November and hope to never return :). I just love Sundays there. The spirit in Sacrament meeting is so uplifting, just the thing you need after hours upon hours of waiting. The wonderful nurses, doctors and other staff. The food, urgh, after a while that gets old. The security guards who sit at the boat day in and day out. One piece of advice I could give...get outside at least once a day. Go on the patio (3rd floor) or go out and sit in the little garden by the fountains. Anything to have just a minute. Everyone worries for and prays for your sweet little boy myself included. But remember you have to be strong and healthy too, to take care of him and do all that will be required of you. It's hard to be the parent and watch the suffering of your child. To be and feel helpless. Sometimes you wonder how you can keep doing it, but you do and Heavenly Father helps you each and every day. My sincere prayers are with you.

Anonymous said...

Kaden gave a very touching and simple testimony, thanking us all for our prayers and support. I think he was publicly thanking not just those in the congregation but in the whole world.
The prayers continue.
Duncan family

tyler's mommy said...

here, continuing to read along and hoping that today brings good things for your sweet bronson.

Mom said...

Sara, Sara, thank you for giving us an update. Sundays are always busy days for me but I kept checking to see if you had posted something. Thank you so much, I was tempted to call Larry but didn't. I take a yoga class and I promise that is one of the stances we use when we are ready to go into a complete back bend. This little guy is amazing just like you and Matt. We want more good news today. I'm happy you got to leave that hospital for a few hours. That has got to help a lot.

Love you all, Aunt Linda

Kate said...

I am so happy to read of his improvements!! I have been praying for Bronson constantly.

Looking forward to your next entry, full of even MORE improvements.

Stay strong, Mom. Blessings to you.

Anonymous said...

I have been following your blog in Kentucky and said many prayers for little Bronson and your family. God has amazing plans for your baby, and I believe this is just the beginning - how many other one year olds get the opportunity to impact so many people's lives for the better. Because of Bronson, families have grown closer, friendships have grown stronger, people on opposite ends of the globe are reaching out. And whenever those inevitable moments come where you feel guilt over the accident, I hope you can realize that if this had never happened, so many people would not have had any reason to show more love, more compassion, more faith, more patience, more strength.......and there's no way to count the number of extra hugs and kisses our own children have received solely because of Bronson and your family's journey though all of this. Wendy in KY-

Rachel said...

Dear Sara,
I read your blog after hearing about it from a friend. Bronson is amazing! I am including him in my fast today.
I am a mother of 3 little boys. In 2008 I spent 6 days at PCMC with my 3-week-old who had rsv. It's difficult to be there, but more difficult to leave. You will have the strength to get through this, of that I am sure.
Love, Rachel (Alpine, UT)

Kelly said...

Sara, what wonderful blessings...baby steps. Praise God!! I was really getting anxious and worried not hearing anything. I find myself checking in 2, 3, 4 times a day looking for an update. Even my 12-yr-old daughter asks if I've heard any news yet. :) We've been praying and will continue to pray. Your little guy is a fighter, that is so evident. Praying for healing, praying for strength, praying for peace.

Mauri said...

It was so good to see you guys last night. I was so excited to see Bronson wide awake and wiggling all over. Mike and I both noticed him focusing on different people for a few seconds at a time. It seemed like whenever a new voice popped into the conversation he would look for that person and focus on them for a brief time. So encouraging to see him making progress. One step at a time is all you can ask for. So thankful we could give you guys some hugs and have a good talk with you. So glad to see that your sense of humors are still intact. :) Love you guys with all our hearts!

Anonymous said...

we get up in the morning
momma gets her coffee
my baby gets his milk
and then we say "let's go check on Bronson" :)
SO happy to wake up to such a hopeful update this morning!
GO Little B GO!!
non-stop prayers coming your way

kids seem comfortable in the strangest positions, don't they...

The Benches said...

What wonderful news. He looks so beautiful! Thanks for keeping us posted. Still praying, still loving.

Melanie said...

Praying for your amazing little Bronson in North Carolina!!! I too am a mother of 4 little boys (7, 5, 3, and 1). Your family and its strength amazes me. Stay strong, rely on the Lord and He will bless you. Praying he does well on his extubation today.

Anonymous said...

what a beautiful picture... sweet Bronson

Barry and Jeanni said...

Thank you for the update, We have been praying for you and your family! So happy to hear of progress.

Sonora said...

Oh my goodness! I am so glad things are going well. You are so sweet to update us at 1:30 in the morning. What a sweet little man. It is so funny how they can sleep in the most uncomfortable positions. I was thinking yesterday how fortunate it was that it was fast sunday. I can only guess at how many people were fasting for him and your family. Hang in there. Our prayers are coming your way all day every day!

Wendi said...

Oh, I am so happy to hear such an encouraging update. I checked your blog 100 times yesterday. I feel so connected to you all even though you don't know me!
- Wendi from So Cal

Krista said...

Yahoo to all of this post! So great and encouraging. Not a prayer is said around here without Bronson included. I knew going home would be bitter- sweet, but I'm so glad you got some sleep and a chance to see the boys at home. Lots is love!

Anonymous said...

I clicked on a link from a friend's facebook page to read your story! My whole family, including my own two year old, are now blessing for "Baby Bronson." We pray you'll continue to see God's tender mercies in all of your lives!! We'll be excited to keep reading of Bronson's progress!

-Turek Family
Cedar City

meg said...

A post just for me??!!! How special do I feel? A WHOLE LOTTA SPECIAL, that's how!!! Thank you for the pictures, your beautiful perspective and for being so honest! I just want to hug you all so bad! I felt better yesterday when nobody else had heard anything either. :) We love you all so much, we're praying for an excellent day!! LOVE!!!

brandy said...

You don't know me but I heard about your story from a friend. As I read your blog entries last night I couldn't stop the tears from falling.
My family and I are praying so hard for your little Bronson.
You are an amazing mother and your little ones are so lucky to have you as their mother.
Stay strong and remember there are so many people thinking of you and your sweet family.
Brandy from Ohio

Maggpie said...

Sara, we don't know one another either. But I heard about your blog and I had to read. I have two children, one is just about Bronson's age. I look at my baby and my heart just aches for you and your family. Thank you for having the courage to share with us, I know you mentioned it helps you, but I want you to know, it helps us too. You and your family are so strong, and it is your strength, your courage, your faith, and your commitment to one another that makes me believe even more that Baby Bronson will pull through. You and your family, and that precious little boy of yours, are in my prayers every day. I know there in NOTHING more important than family, and that our children are gifts from God. I check your blog regularly, and I thank you for your updates. (Your family is beautiful by the way). I think you are amazing. Praying, and thinking lots of positive thoughts and big hugs, Rachel from Michigan

Shannon said...

sweet yoga pose little B... That looks about right, trying to get out of that dang crib after a week. He may be ready for a big boy bed when he gets home. HE will hate the crib. haha
I love that he is quite the little wiggle worm.

I loved this post sara, you write straight from your heart and we are all crying with you.

That song means so much more to me too, still 5 years later i bawl my eyes out every time we sing it! I got chills reading it & thinking about all of these peoples lives you & little Bronson has touched, he has so many people adoring him and praying for him and your family. I loved that you shared your sunday with us, and the pictures! We love you so much and I can't wait to hug that little guy and squeeze him.

You must be one amazing mom!
Love you...

Anonymous said...

Sara, I too am a stranger to you. I too, have a boy about Bronson's age. He slept in my bed last night because I could not leave him upstairs after reading your blog. I cannot even begin to comprehend the emotions you have been through, but my heart breaks for you and we will be checking your blog regularly to see updates.Please know how very many people have rallied around you and your sweet boy.
Our hearts and prayers are with you.
God bless.
Yvonne in St. George

Anonymous said...

That first picture is just precious. He is so so sweet. You are an amazing mommy! You have no idea what a testimony builder you have been for me. I admire you. I pray for you. I think about your sweet boy pretty much the entire day and night.

Miranda said...

another stranger here. my husband and i are praying for your family everyday. my heart aches for you. i just wanted to send you this song. everytime i hear it on the radio, (which has been A LOT this weekend) i think of you and matt and bronson and all of your boys and i pray that it warms your heart and you find peace and strength.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VkvtrwwjtM&feature=related

Thinking of you always,
Miranda
Louisville, KY

Sabra said...

Once again the tears rolled down my cheeks as I read your update. We continue to pray. We continue to hope. We continue to have our hearts full of love for your sweet Bronson and family.

Lynz said...

Sara, I too am a stranger, but know that we are prayer for your little Bronson, for you and your family.

You have so much strength, even if you don't feel like it.

Thank you for sharing. It helps to strengthen my testimony.

Much Love,
Lyndsie Miles

nennermommy said...

Ok he melts your heart with those eyes in the first picture!!!!!

Mandy @ The Party of 3 said...

Keep up the awesome work Bronson!! Rock on! You can do this!

Anonymous said...

I continue to check your blog everyday, and I spread your story to whoever I can, by word of mouth and also I have posted your link on facebook. Bronson has such beautiful eyes, I hope he continues to keep eye contact. It is true that everyone has hugged their babies a little closer after hearing your story, and making more parents aware that anything can happen to anyone. much love coming from North Salt Lake

Jennettehogan said...

I am a stranger to you up here in Ogden but I found your blog through some friends on facebook. I have been following your updates for a few days now and cry with every one that I read. I have been praying for you, your family, and little Bronson every day. With 5 young children of my own (my littlest boy is only 1 month older than Bronson), I can totally understand the "negligent moments" we mothers may face. Your story is an inspiration to me and your courage throughout this is extremely amazing. I will continue to pray for recovery, strength, and comfort.

Aaron and Lindsay said...

from one mommy to another, please know your precious, beautiful son is heavy on my heart today. Praying for God's perfect provision and love to shine down on you all. Truly, God Bless you and your amazing little boy. Lots of prayers!!!

Evelyn said...

Even with all the tubes and wires, you know your little boy is still there if he wants to lay in that familiar position! I love the last picture...he looks like he just needs to stretch really good!! YOU are doing great! You are a strong women! My prayers continue to be with you and your beautiful family!!

Terri said...

Oh my sweet sweet Sara. What an impact you and Bronson are making with so many families. Your story is touching and teaching as you go. Tears roll down my cheeks as your pain pierces through me. And your Joy through the small things fills my heart. I cant wait till you post again so we all know how he is doing. I love his stubborness to get comfortable. He needs that to fight. As Mandy on the above post said "Rock on Bronson, you can do this."
Love you
xoxo

Cori said...

Hi Sara, another stranger here. I found your blog through a friend on Facebook. I have been deeply touched by your story. It has given me cause to slow down and attempt to focus less on all of the daily distractions we mommy's face, and more on my sweet babies (2 1/2 and 1). You are an incredibly strong and wonderful mother. I cannot begin to understand the pain you feel, but my heart is with you, and my prayers with your sweet Bronson. While your experience is obviously a traumatic one, your willingness to share it, I believe, is changing lives. Much love to you and your sweet family.

Jessica Breinholt said...

He is just the cutest! We continue to pray for all of you . . .

Heaven's Eye Phtotography said...

Today I am grateful that you got to go home...slept in your own bed and got to take a shower. I am grateful for all the amazing babysteps that Bronson is making. I am thankful for your story and I am continuing to send all my love your way. I know your other boys need as much as they can get. I know that they are still very confused and scared. Love and gratitude will be the driving force behind getting your little man home and your family put back together;) Hang in there!

Admin said...

Sara, I found your story from a friend of mine and I must say, ever since I read it, you and your family have been on my mind.

You sound like a wonderful mother with so much strength. What happened to you could of happened to any one of us,I think there are a lot of us out there that can be guilty for the same thing at one time or another and from your story we have all learned something. Thank you so much for sharing.

I find myself checking your blog all through the day. I really think your a talented writer, how you tell your story.

Me and my family are praying for you all and thank you so much for keeping us all up dated on your little boy at such a hard time.

With love,
Laura from Bluffdale Utah

barbaraboxell said...

I wanted to let you know that my "little boy" was 20 years old when he was in an accident and in NICU-not knowing if he had brain damage-not knowing if he would survive. As the Trama doctors told me "It's in God's hands now". And it was. He just turned 31 in January-no brain damage, they said he probably wouldn't walk again-and after a year of being in a wheel chair (he mastered doing wheelies in it) and doing physical therapy he now walks with no limp even. I know how hard it is to leave them-I would leave at 4:30 every morning-drive home, take a shower and be back in time for the morning rounds. There were many set backs, he was in neuro icu for three weeks on a vent-they tried numerous times before they could finally ween him off. I hope that your prayers are answered like mine were. I check back three or 4 times a day to see his progress-and he is making progress!! I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Love, Barbara

Traci said...

Oh I love that little guy! I love that he is showing his personality...it gives so much hope! He is so strong and he is fighting for you! He wants to be with you, you can tell, he's doing what he needs to do to be back with you...completely!! Keep it up Sara and Matt, you can do this! We love you and sending you every once of power and love we can muster! Keep it up sock monkey! ;)

Shannon Kilstrom Photography said...

Continuing to pray for you and your sweet, Bronson. That first picture is amazing and really tugged at my heart. His eyes are so expressive and it is clear that you are looking into his soul. He is an amazing little boy and he being prayed for by so many. I went to a part of a church retreat this weekend and Bronson was in my heart the entire time. God Bless you all...

Anonymous said...

This morning as I (unknown to you) was reading your blog to see how Bronson had managed over the weekend I did not notice my daughter Malaree (3 years old) looking over my shoulder. This being her first sight of someone with those tubes I thought it might be shocking with questions of, what happened to him? or what are those tubes on his face? Instead she sweetly stated..."WOW, he is being BRAVE!!!" All that from a simple picture. Our prayers will be with your family and your lil BRONSON THE BRAVE! Only happy endings to this story!!!

LOVE & PRAYERS -- Another Sara without an H

Amiee said...

Hi. You don't know me, either. I found your story on a friend's blog that linked me to yours. I am SO EXCITED to hear about Bronson's progress! And he looks so stinkin' cute with his faux hawk and eyes wide open. I just cried and cried at your story. It is amazing. I have a 2 year old son and another one coming in less than 8 weeks. My oldest burned his hand severely at only 10 months. I can relate somewhat to your feelings of guilt. I STILL feel like it was my fault. And each time I see the horrid scars I feel guilt guilt guilt. But your story has made me realize that things just happen. It doesn't make you a bad parent, or irresponsible mother. Could have happened to anyone, anytime. I admire your strength and faith in the Lord. My prayers are with your entire family. I will be keeping tabs on blog, for sure. May God bless you!

Anonymous said...

Another person you don't know...but I have been following your blog from the start and I just have to say...you have a new strength about you. Where there was once sorrow and despair in your words, there is now hope, faith and happiness. You are amazing. Thank you thank you a thousand times for posting these pictures of your wiggle worm! What a doll!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the update. I'm glad things are starting to look a bit better. Bronson is a very handsome boy. We continue praying for Bronson from Minnesota.

christy said...

Such good news, Sara! Like so many, we fasted and prayed like never before for you all. I ran into Jane on Saturday night. We embraced and spoke so lovingly of you and your family. Oh, the love and concern in her eyes! What a beautiful friend.

My sister's children have had countless stays in PCMC (they have Muscular Dystrophy). Such an incredible place where angels roam to play with and comfort the sweet children. My precious 6 year old nephew (who was also intubated at the time) received a special visit from a beloved grandpa who had passed on a few years earlier (from cancer. Grandpa hated being in the hospital)--a very sacred and special experience a 6 year-old could not fabricate. His visit came while my sister and her husband left Jason's room to go eat something. My mom had not yet arrived for her "shift". I know, without a doubt, your beloved Bronson is being watched over at all times. Love and continued prayers, Christy

Shannon said...

Oh Sara, I wish I would have known somehow of your "no room dalemma" I would have sent you up to the Governors Mansion, my mom makes a great host and there are PLENTY of comfy beds! Let me know if you ever need somewhere besides the hospital to kick it,(or any other "hook up" for that matter) you can get ahold of me easy through Jane...

hang in there sweety, you are doing awesome and I think you've got the world on your side with all of the the love and prayers!!

Chief said...

You are a wonderful mother.

My prayers are for you and your family.

Allie said...

I just wanted to let you know that your story has touched me. It has reminded me of the power of prayer and the miracle it is. I have kept you and your son in my prayers.

Kierstin said...

Bronson is so so so sweet and precious!! Those pictures are darling and he looks wonderful! I love how he is moving into his own position on the bed...too cute! Praying that today is a WONDERFUL day...((((HUGS)))) to all of you!

Bill Boland said...

Thank you Sara for your beautiful words and giving us all an update as to Bronson's progress. Your family are in our thoughts constantly and our fast yesterday was dedicated to Bronson.

Love, your cousin in Oregon

onceapickle said...

Oh Sara, he is just the sweetest thing. I want to just squeeze him!

Thanks for your updates and sharing your testimony and faith with us. Just reading all of your wonderful comments has been amazing to me to see all the lives you, your family and precious boy are touching. It's incredible.

Hang in there, I'm thinking of you and praying for your family!

Brianna said...

Sara, I hope everything goes well today! I continue to think about you and prayers are coming continuously. I will check on you tonight!
Brianna

Erika said...

I found you through facebook. We are praying for you. I asked my husband to fast for you (I'm nursing so I can't). What a heart wrenching situation.

Much love from Oregon.

R Clan said...

Thanks for continuing to teach me. Oh, I love his pic. His eyes are beautiful.

Tara said...

We too are praying for you and excited to hear he is still progressing. You are an amazing family. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.

Jacee said...

So i seen your story on facebook off my sisters page i always do what you did never again will i let little house hold chores distract me i also have 2 boys around the exact same age im so sorry and with everyones pray's in this nation i belive your son will deff pull thought this thanks for the blogs its brought new meaning to bath time and chore time

Julie said...

I cry as I read your posts. I read them when I first get up in the morning. Hoping for more good news. Loved seeing that precious face looking right into the camera. Praise God. Praying for strength for each moment for each of you!

cindi zirilli clapp said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

praying praying praying...so much love from Virginia.

cindi zirilli clapp said...

wonderul writing, sara...remember to be kind to yourself...but most of all BREATH...love love love...xoxoxo cindi z

Ashley Willis said...

Sara,
What a beautiful, precious boy! I was so happy this morning to see his gorgeous eyes open and alert!

My kids all call Bronson "the baby" (even Kate points to the computer screen and says "baby!" when I'm checking up on you). They ask about him constantly, and Gavin informed us after church that he wanted to fast for "the baby" for the rest of the day! So many lessons being learned by so many people!

You are in our continued thoughts and prayers. Keep your chin up - you are doing inspiringly well.

Love,
Ash

Tasha said...

I do not know you either, but I am praying. Praying so so hard. Bless him, and you, and your whole family.

Anonymous said...

I don't know your family- but I have a friend who directed me to your blog. I just want to you know that I am praying for you, your son, and your family- and have informed my friends and family- asking them to do the same. I will continue to read your updates (and continue to cry for a little boy that I don't even know) as I snuggle my little ones closer.

becky said...

I don't know you but I have two little girls and my oldest who is 5 asked me what I was looking at the other day and has been including your family in our prayers. We pray for a fast recovery for your little guy. My 5 year old has some developmental problems and also has a low immune system so I can relate to the hospital with all of her sickneeses that we have had to deal with. I am sure it is nothing like you are going through but I wanted to let you know that you are thought of and a great mommy. For some reason we all have to go thru trials and this is just one more to face and conquer with flying colors. Good luck and we will continue to keep you in our prayers.

Anonymous said...

I am just a stranger who heard of your blog on facebook! Your story is spreading like wild fire! I just want you to know that you are in my prayers! You are an amazing mother and the faith you have is truly touching. We are all rooting for little Bronson!

Kristine Bunting said...

We do not know each other but I wanted you to know that I am praying for your little guy and your family.

Kristine SLC, Utah

Crystal said...

Good morning! It amazes me how technology has brought so many people together from around the world to be with you in spirit and through prayers. I am another one who is a stranger that is constantly thinking about you, Bronson and your family and checking throughout each day to see if there's any new news! I hope that your blogs are helping you through this as much as it is helping the rest of us support you through this! Those pictures are priceless and show such a strong lil man! I pray as much that you feel the love and support around you as I do for the healing and progress of precious Bronson! Here's hoping for more good news and progress today! Prayers from Roy, UT

katie said...

hey there,

like so many others stopping by your blog, we are strangers to one another. but i find myself thinking about you, your bronson, your matt, & your three boys all day.

last saturday my husband, daughter, & i were sealed together in the draper temple. my testimony has grown tenfold of the tender mercies of our loving heavenly father. having eternity to spend with my family is a blessing that i cherish. i am so grateful that our Father designed life to be this way: filled with all the trials & triumphs that we experience. family truly is everything. the knowledge we have as members of the Lord's church is the key to pushing forward in faith, hope, & love.

thank you for sharing your testimony. your testimony touches my heart & speaks to my soul.

you, bronson, & your sweet family of boys are in my prayers.

oxox,
katie

stacy said...

what a BEAUTIFUL boy! i loved seeing those eyes this morning. so sweet!

just want you to know that my kids and i fasted for your family yesterday and with every prayer that was said my 5 year old would say, "don't forget baby branson"! you are not being forgotten. this has effected our whole family.

Melissa said...

Sara all through high school my mom used to tell me how beautiful you were. now as she reads and follows your story she says you are just as beautiful on the inside. You truely are a beautiful amaizing woman. You have inspired so many as a woman, mother, wife and a daughter of our heavenly father. Thank you for the inspiration and perspective. I wish we were all finding this perspective some other way.
Our faith and prayers will continue for your family and your precious little man. I hope and pray that you can return home shortley with your little bronson and continue living your charmed life.
Hang in there
Love,
Melissa Jones Cummings

Anonymous said...

Praise God, He is going to get out of that bed SOON, in the name of Jesus!

BenLand said...

praying so hard for your little boy.....and for your family as well.....
he's so sweet....and strong!!!

peace.

somewhereinthyme said...

Still praying for your little guy and for your family too. God bless!

a not so desperate housewife said...

Cory is amazing...he was our NP the last time our little guy was in the PICU. More prayers from another family. Hugs and love <3

MiNdY said...

I can't express with words how Blessed I felt and how grateful I was being able to spend the time I did with B, matt and your sweet self last night and witness these little miracles you speak of. We left feeling so good. And so proud of B! Thank you.

You keep speaking of being in debt to everyone who has prayed, given special gifts.. You have to remember the gift that you are giving everyone else that you can't put a price tag on. "A whole cup of perspective!". As far as I'm concerned I am indebted to B forever.

I love you guys with all my heart. <3

Mindy

Chey said...

I heard about your story from a friend. I have had some heartache in my family the last 3 years but this is breaking my heart. My heart aches for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Ms Bibi said...

I just read your story....

My prayers, hope and positive thoughts are with your little boy, you and your whole family.

Austin and Jennifer Duke said...

I just read your story last night and I feel like I haven't stopped crying since! I am praying for you and your family (especially Bronson!). I only wish we could all do more than this! May Heavenly Father continue to bless you all.

-Jennifer, American Fork, UT

Tasha Allen said...

You probably don't know me but I met you a few times last summer. My brother played baseball with your son. My mom let me know about your blog. You are amazingly strong! Thank you for sharing your experiences. Our family has been thru a few rough trials like this and if you let them they will make you strong. Hold to what you know to be true! The gospel of Jesus Christ is real.

Heather Lee said...

you don't know me, but I was first made aware of your situation from a friend's blog (Kennan Gregory). I read your story, cried, prayed...and still pray. Then today I read Natalie Norton's note to you and am fulfilling her request to let you know that I'm praying for you, your family, and especially your little boy Bronson. I thought I would just do it privately, but if knowing of all the prayers being said for you might help, I thought I should let you know. I pray for a full recovery. You have such a sweet little family and after learning a bit more about you from your blog, I admire you as a mom.

jess said...

His wiggles brought a smile to my face, keep up the good work little B!!

Prayers continue.

Anonymous said...

Bronson is constantly in my thoughts throughout the day. Dozens of times a day I stop and whisper his sweet name and send heartfelt prayers your way.

Nicole said...

Sara... I am so thrilled to see the pics of Bronson from today. Just so much more "normal" than the ones from days ago - and which, I'm sure, must feel like a lifetime ago, too. I can't tell you how often I think of you guys. I have friends, here in South Africa, petitioning our Father on Bronson's behalf and lifting you guys up in prayer. I feel so connected to you, with my 2 youngest being the same ages as your 2 youngest. But also, I feel God has connected me to you, inexplicably but in such a great amount of love. Your family is mine, in Christ, and please know that I hold you ALL so dear to my heart. I continue to pray and love from the other side of the world!!! please do not hesitate to email me nicolemaurel@gmail.com to ask for specific prayers!!! I wish I could fly there to pray in person and to drop off some "hospital essentials" like hand cream and lip balm and magazines and worship cd's and ... I'm sure you have wonderful friends around you doing JUST THAT. I'm doing it in my heart!!

you are the best kind of mom! may you KNOW that as you feel God's love envelop and comfort you!

Jacque said...

hi sara. like many others have said, we don't know each other... but i found your blog through another and was so touched by all you're going through and by the strength in your spirit. i think i read for a good 30 minutes or so and sobbed last night for a few hours after...(i can somewhat relate, as i have boys, too - one of which is just a month younger than your bronson.) your family is in my thoughts and prayers.love to you.

si tu veux said...

prayers and wishes that we could do something, anything. we are close to Primary's. If you think of something, anything we can do I am five minutes away....and we have a bed you may use.

raggettyanne@comcast.net

We are the Mogles said...

what a sweetie. prayers, prayers and more prayers from St. George.

Go Bronson!

Anonymous said...

Another stranger here...The most glorious picture of Bronson. I hope he is saving up all his energy for what God has in store for him today. I'm become obsessed with checking for updates. You don't know how many people in CA are rooting for this little guy. We're praying for miracles daily!!

Mom of two in California

Anonymous said...

Just a word of comfort about that "blank stare." We have a cousin that was in a car accident and had a brain injury. He had that blank stare for a while but now he is perfectly normal looking at us through his smiling eyes. The shadows will clear and you will see the light in his eyes again SOON!

Paul & Kera Ottmann said...

Hi Sara,

I know you dont know me but I heard about your blog and your sweet family thru a friend today. It seems that my Heavenly Father is yet again blessing my life..you see on Saturday I made a challenge for myself on my blog to love others more this week and then today I started reading your blog. I am the mommy of a beautiful 8 month old princess, today I am putting aside the laundry and dishes and hugging her a little tighter with help from you! Your sweet family and handsome little prince are in my prayers and I added you to my blog list (hoping you dont mind) you are spreading indpiration and prayers all over the world and helping mommies like me take a step back and realize that love is all around us! I hope you feel that it is around you and your family too Thank you for sharing your blog and I am so sorry for the struggles your family is going thru. I truly feel that the lord is smiling on your family and I know he is blessing my life by helping me find your blog!
Sending prayers and love from Arizona!
Kera

Cassie said...

I have been reading your blog for a few days now and my heart just aches for you and your family. As a new mom I can't even imagine what you are going through, but your strength amazes me. I have been praying for your little guy because I know if it were my child I would want all the prayers possible going out for her!

Dennis said...

My name is Denny and I am studying Dr Brads work. I'm on his email list. I have been keeping up with Bronson's progress on this web site. I do a healing practice that may be considered a cousin to what Dr Brad does. It is amazing and very simple. If you are allowed to do some simple massages on Bronson it may help to speed up his healing because it rebalances his energy systems.

You simply rub very gently in little circles on these places: top of his head, center of his forehead near his eyebrow, on his temple, under his eye, under his nose, on his chin, on his collar bone and under his arm. All of these point or any that are available will help to balance his energy system and it is very comforting to him. Think positive healing thoughts while you do it. I use it with my grand daughter and have seen some real interesting and positive outcomes for many things. It simply is aiding in his body's rebalancing of energy so the more often the better.

I have found that God wants us to come to him with great and positive expectations.

"Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." Heb 4:16 American King James Version

I have sent out to several healing groups for help in prayers and sending healing energy to Bronson and your family.

healing hugs to your and your family

The Sears Family said...

Sara,
I just wanted to say that through my own son and his own health issues, there are a couple of hundred from my end praying for you. I have added your Family to our Church Prayer List. It made my day to get up and see your post. I can feel him looking at ME through that picture. WOW...God is an AMAZING God. If Bronson keeps doing the Yoga pose I would ask the doctor if he is refluxing. Often when a baby has a NG tube, it causes Reflux, the "arching" is a way to deal with it. I am so glad that Bronson is doing things he he did before. It must be comforting. I am praying for you!
The Sears Family

stacey oconnell said...

praying in Minnesota. God is Good. he will never leave you or forsake you.
In Him,
Stacey

Jesicca said...

What thrilling news to know that his personality is shining through for you guys to see! He looks so uncomfortable laying sideways with one foot and hand through the rails, but if that is how he wants it, then so be it. What a trooper you have been. Still sending our prayers your way!
Yesterday our family fasted on your behalf and we were touched to know that we can do something so simple for someone else yet be lifted by the Lord. Thank you for allowing us that!
And as for "Because I Have Been Given Much", our family favorite!

DJ and Amanda said...

We do not know each other, but I am praying for your sweet Bronson and the rest of your family. You're an amazing mother and I so admire your strength! Sending my love and prayers from Tennessee.
Amanda

Suzi said...

Your family is in our thoughts. Here is to s speedy recovery for Bronson and the rest of your family!

Suzi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brittanie said...

My little Erin, who is just a few months older than Bronson is, caught sight of these pictures asked me "Oh, baby hurt?" When I said yes, he was hurt, she said, "Oh sad, baby hurts. Baby feel better."

I just had to share. He seems to be making progress, and it's good to see. We will definitely continue to pray for a full recovery. Even Erin.

Brittanie said...

((just kidding, I doublechecked the dates, Erin's a year and a few months older than Bronson. Excuse my brainlessness))

Beau and Rach said...

My sister is hospitalized pregnant with twins right now. She watched life flight leave with your Bronson. Our whole family has been praying for you and your family ever since. I've spent many lonely and scary nights in a hospital with my own preemie twin babies. My heart is full of compassion and love for you. Heavenly Father stood by me so many of those nights and let me know he had great things in store for my baby boys just as he does for your Bronson. I pray you feel his arms around you through this hard time.

With love,
Your sister in motherhood
Rachel White(mama to 5 boys)

Nichole said...

Look at what a fighter he is! I have a son named Bronson who was born with some challenges and has been a fighter as well. It must be the name! I never new it meant strong one! We fasted for you yesterday and you are constantly in our prayers!

Mindi said...

Me, along with several other blogger moms have been keeping up with your posts. We all have a prayer with your family in mind. Keep fighting, all of you. "This too shall pass".
Blogger Mom in Montana

The Stone Family Oregon City, OR said...

I am so happy to read your update and see the wonderful new photos of Bronson. What a precious little blessing he is. I want you to know that my life is changed from reading what Bronson and your family has been going through. You are an amazing woman Sara and God is going to see you and your family through this. We are praying for Bronson and your family constantly throughout the day and thank our God in advance for Bronson's full recovery. You do not know us but we love you and your beautiful family and will continue to pray diligently for all of you/the doctors/nurses. God Bless you and keep you....The Stone Family in Oregon City,

nadine said...

We are very happy to hear that your baby is doing better. My husband and I, my father and my sister have all been praying for your sons quick recovery. God Bless

Jeannie Reeves Photography said...

Wonderful news!!!! I will have to share this with my family as they are heart broken for you guys! This will bring smiles to our faces as Im sure it has yours!

shelby said...

praying and praying for you and Bronson, and your sweet family!

Kristen said...

I am new to your blog, but please know, that as a Momma, and a sister in Faith, I am praying for your sweet boy, for you and your entire family.

Stormy said...

Sara! I just found a link to your blog from a friend's blog. I read through your whole post totally engulfed in what has happened and where things stand now with tears just streaming down my face before I realized it was YOU...Our amazing wedding, family, and kiddo photographer!

My heart is broken for you and your family and at the same time filled with such hope as I know what an amazing Heavenly Father we all have. He is watching over Bronson and each member of your family and I trust Him to take care of you all in His way and I know you do too. I know he'll guide and bless you all through this.


Our prayers are with you,
Stormy & Ryan Staley and family

barb said...

You don't know me....I don't know you, but yet I was drawn to your story via Letti. You see - My little guy was also on life support with all the odds against him. By only a true miracle and the power of prayer I am happily watching him play next to me right now. You and your family are in my prayers!

Anonymous said...

I do not know you, but I will SO pray for your sweet little boy. I'm so sorry your family is going through this. What a cutie he is...and how exciting that he is making such progress!! May Heavenly Father continue bless and comfort you all through this difficult trial.

--Heidi

Letti said...

These pictures are nothing short of amazing. You have so many people here in southern California praying for you.

Anonymous said...

Just so you know - there are a whole group of us in Florida praying for Bronson and your family!

Melanie said...

You dont know us, I received a link to your blog through a friend. I just want you to know that you are an INCREDIBLE woman with more strength than I could ever even dream of ever having. Your family was the purpose of our fast yesterday, and you will continue to be in our daily thoughts and prayers. My son is the same age as Bronson, and so I can only imagine what you are feeling and my heart breaks over and over again for your pain and anguish. Your faith in our Savior and everyone else's that is praying for you and your wonderful family will see you through this. God bless you and your family.

~~Debbi Robertson~~ said...

I found out about the accident through Natalie Norton's blog and I just have to remind you once again (and I'm sure it's in the 1,000s that you've heard this but one more time sure won't hurt) that you have people from all over praying for your little Bronson. And me, for one, is one who believes that our God is a good God and desires only the best for your baby. His best is full recovery and with all my faith, I believe for that. PLEASE, please, please make certain that only Words of faith are spoken over, around, near your baby. The Word of God tells us that there is power in our words and as long as THE WORD is spoken, His Word will not be returned void. Praying in faith for you!

Erica Phillips said...

Sara and Matt,

I also found your blog through facebook and have been reading daily. I actually went to Snow College and knew Matt down there. I am so sorry for your situation, and so completely in awe of your strength. You have such a beautiful way of sharing your feelings and testimony. My family will continue to pray for you and your family.

Erica Dalby Phillips (mommy to 4 girls)

Anonymous said...

Good news today on your blog! You do not know me, but I have been keeping up on Bronson's progress and have been kept your boy in my prayers. Your blog has been passed to many, many people. (Thank you God for the positive aspects of social networking!) I am not LDS, I am a Christian (your blog is out there among many different people!) who also knows that God is in control of all things, and prayer can change everything and many people are holding you and your family in their prayers!!!! God is holding you up right now. He is our all powerful ElShaddai and provides for all our needs - our Jehovah Jireh! He spoke the world into existence with just His word - His power is unmeasurable as is His love for you. He is Bronson's HEALER and He desires to bless him. A song that has helped me build faith is "Healer" by Kari Jobe.
Bronson - no matter what - you are God's Beloved!

We praise you God even in the rain that pours down in our lives! Father I come boldly before Your throne of grace that Bronson may obtain help to recover at this time. Father you warned us that we would have many afflictions, but you also promised that You would deliver us from them all. Therefore, I thank You for Your strong hand of deliverance in supplying and meeting these needs for Bronson.
Now Father, I believe your word, and I am fully persuaded that what YOU have promised, You are also able to perform. This is the confidence that I have: that if I ask anything according to Your will, I know that You hear me; and since I know that You hear me, I know that I have the petitions that I desire and I have asked of You. I believe it, and I believe that Bronson will receive the blessings of the Lord in His life today. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray AMEN!!!

Oka said...

I just came up[on your ongoing story today. I have taken time to read back to the beginning of your horrific ordeal. Words can not explain how much your story has touched my soul. I know there is not much comfort I could offer you in these time. I hope that my offer of prayers will add some at this time.

Annji said...

I'm glad to hear that Bronson is making occasional eye contact!! I'm another stranger, but I just wanted to let you know that your beautiful baby boy and your family are in my family's thoughts and prayers!! I pray that God gives your family the strength to make it through this ordeal!! I'm looking forward to more positive updates, I know that strong little boy can make it through this (especially with all of the prayers going out to him)! Sending you lots of love from Florida!!

Dria said...

Big prayers-- he looks like he is making progress. Give yourselves a break. Mommy and Daddy need to be well. I can say this from experience-- I have spent many sleepless nights in the PICU.

Anonymous said...

You don't know me either but I have a little 17.5 month old(one month older then your son) who just a couple of months ago reached up and pulled a boiling bowl of water onto tummy,side and all the way down his arm.(I boiled water in my microwave to steam it an then clean it). We were in the hospital that looked much like the one you are in with the same crib-also bad memories for our family. The first time I went home it was incredibly difficult to see "the crime scene" as I called it.When I read this post I TOTALLY related! For a couple of weeks I couldn't boil water without feeling massive guilt. I haven't cleaned the microwave since then until today! I finally gave into my fears and just did it. So I know that that place for you will be difficult to face everyday but I promise it will get easier. Forgiving yourself will come easier as well. Time does heal.
So glad to hear he is coming along in the healing process. I also fasted for your family yesterday. Stay strong. Love the Owens from Las Vegas NV.

Jill said...

Sara... I agree with everyone that you are an INCREDIBLE woman and mother... because of you and what you're going through I feel I have a stronger testimony and my faith has increased so much! I choose faith over fear too and I am still praying every single day for little Bronson... thanks for sharing so much with us. Love, Jill Pilling

Tyler and Sheena said...

I included you are your sweet baby in my fast yesterday. I find myself thinking of you guys all the time even though we are complete strangers. I love the cute pictures of your even cuter little guy.

Sheena-Las Vegas, NV

Nicole Guerra said...

Everytime I read your posts I cry.....both because my heart aches for you and becuase I feel the spirit when I read your words. How wonderful to see the photo of his beautiful eyes open and connecting, and how cute he is in those funny possitions in his bed :) My testimony of prayer has grown exponentially since hearing about Bronson and reading your posts. Our family continues to pray for little Bronson and your family. You are a wonderful mama, don't ever doubt it :)

Beth said...

Sara ~
You don't know me, but I found your blog through a friend's post on facebook and have been reading daily for updates on your sweet little boy. I have been praying hard since Friday for Bronson and your family, how hard this time must be for you. Because of your faith, I feel mine being strengthened and renewed! You are amazing and have a gift at expressing your feelings and thoughts so openly. Your little boy looks fabulous in the picture you posted today, I am a NICU nurse and don't even notice all the tubes and wires anymore, just a strong little boy. I will continue to pray for Bronson, your family and all the medical staff taking care of him.

Anonymous said...

I just read about the "energy" points you should rub by Dr. Brad. Go to www.bodytalksystem.com and read what you can and look at the videos. This is something you can do for Bronson yourself that can help his brain get back into the normal rhythm. You might even want to find a practitioner in that area who might be able to help you. It is powerful and so it GOD!!!!

melanie said...

Hey,
I found your blog on another friend's website, and I cried buckets as I read it last night. I just want you to know that every single time I think about your little boy (which has been about a thousand times since yesterday) I quickly close my eyes and offer a simple prayer that Heavenly Father will heal your sweet angel. I have three little boys myself, one of them is 2 and a half, and when I look at Bronson, Its like I am seeing my little one. Anyway, our family is praying very hard for your family. You dont know us, but we love you guys.
Melanie Segalla

Meghan said...

I hope today was a great day for Bronson! Steps forward big or little just steps in the right direction!

I pray so much for you and your family.

I have put some of your music on my itunes and pray every time one of the songs comes on.

Here is a hug from me to you!

Your friend in prayer from Southern California

Candice said...

What a comfort for little B to insist on such a familiar position for laying.
Your family is constantly in my thoughts. I hope for the very best for you all.

Elena said...

I know you can't possibly have time to read all these comments, but I wanted to leave one all the same. I always like to know who's reading my blog and figure it's only fair to let other's know I read theirs. I'm praying for a quick and full recovery for your sweet baby boy. Your family is beautiful! Hang in there and thank you for sharing your journey with us. (As a side note, my sister in law works there a Primary Childrens, such a great hospital. You are in good hands.)

Sabrina said...

You and your little guys are all in my prayers. I know Bronson is making wonderful strides, and I'm certain his big brothers miss having you at home too! As I had my 17 month old in the tub this morning I thought of you, Bronson, and this whole horrible ordeal. I cried thinking of just how fast it all happened. How fast everything in your life, Bronson's, and your older boys lives changed forever. Prayers coming your way!

Joel and Carrie said...

I think strangers like me are completely invested in your story because we can all relate to it so easily. You have a way with words that is teaching so many of us your values, faith, fears, hopes through this experience. Since I can't give you a hug, I leave a comment to say thanks. All my positive thoughts are with you.
-Carrie, Utah

Anonymous said...

xoxo
he is a fighter!

jennster said...

just heard about this... and am thinking of you and your family. wishing you all the best and all the strength you need to get through this time..... everyone intact. hearts a little more tattered, but still whole. xoxoxo

Damaris said...

thinking of your and yours and thankful that your son is doing better.

The Queen Vee said...

You keep moving Bronson and we will keep praying for you, for your mom, for your dad and for your brothers. We hope that today was better than yesterday and that soon you will be able to go home.

Mike, Felisha, and Brynlee said...

You don't know who I am but I want to know I stumbled across your blog today and my heart is breaking for you! You and your sweet little family will be in my prayers from here until your little Bronson is well and ready to be with his family again!! Thank you so much for sharing and I will continue to hope for more progress!!

Felisha said...

I don't know you but my sister posted on her blog to fast and pray for you (her friend knows you). I checked your blog and started bawling, oh how i ache for your little boy to be healed. I know Heavenly Father loves you and will bless your family. He is fighting and that is good. I will continue to pray for your little guy and your strength to carry on. You are an amazing mother even though I don't know, I can feel it through your writing. I am so grateful for the power of the priesthood, Heavenly Father loves you.

ashlan said...

I came across your blog from a friend. You are amazing at putting all your feelings out there. My 6 year old and 3 year old just spent the last hour playing in the tub as they usally do and I will admit unattended, they love the tub and its hard to think we are so busy and walk away but almost everyone does it and now hopefully won't. Its so easy to feel like so many other things need to be done. I sat down and read this while my baby "b" (bronson) is taking a nap. I feel like I relate to you all to well and we have never met. My heart is breaking for you and your family. Im glad to see there is improvement. Bronson is stong name and it sounds as if your baby bronson is living up to it. I pray that he is made whole once again.

becca olsen said...

Sara,
I found your blog on a friends site and just wanted to thank you for your wonderful example of faith. It has truly inspired me. I'm a NICU nurse and have seen how difficult it is for families. I am praying for your sweet little son.
-Becca from Hawaii

Anonymous said...

My heart aches for you! My 2 year old has just come through treatment for liver cancer and i know how hard it is to watch them suffer and feel so helpless and to leave them to sleep and not be able to grab them and squeeze them with all your might!and to be so so worried for there life! I saw many miracles and have never felt such a spiritual experience may this be yours xxx

He is a beautiful boy and a real fighter! My family will be praying for you all!

Sara McGinnis Newton Abbot ward united Kingdom xxx

Tiffany said...

Another stranger here. :) I've been following your blog and I can't tell you how HAPPY it made me to see that first picture of your little man. It really made my heart soar! My husband and I have been thinking, talking, and praying about your sweet Bronson. I know that Heavenly Father loves that little boy and has a plan for him. We have fallen in love with him for sure. I wish I could give you a hug!!!

ANGELA CASSAVAUGH said...

NOT SURE IF YOU READ ALL OF THESE BUT EVEN IF YOU DON'T RIGHT NOW, SOMEDAY YOU MAY! YOU ARE AN AWESOME PERSON WITH AN AWESOME FAMILY!! REALLY! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR KEEPING THIS BLOG UPDATED. I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD FEEL SO CLOSE TO PERFECT STRANGERS... AND I DO MEAN PERFECT :) LOVE YOU GUYS!
MOM OF TWO LITTLE BOYS.. ANGELA CASSAVAUGH, LENOIR, NC

Anonymous said...

Another stranger from Idaho praying for Bronson AND his parents!

Synergy Girl said...

I am sure you have recieved SO many comments of support and love that you can't keep up, but I just want you to know how amazing you are. I read your story, and saw myself. Even the pictures of your little guy remind me of my little guy...who likes to have his hair done in a cute little mohawk...they seem so close in age. My baby loves his baths, and he bathes with his older brother who just turned 4, and I will admit...I have left the room. I bawled when I read your story. It could have happened to any of us...I hope that no matter the outcome that you will never blame yourself...you are a good mother!! Thank you for being so strong and so willingly open...some of us needed it so much...

Cailey said...

I am also a stranger like hundreds of others. Your family is so strong! Bronson is so strong. Heavenly Father is real and I know for a fact he does answer prayers. I will continue to pray for all of you! I hope you will be blessed with peace and comfort in this difficult time.
Cailey Bountiful, Utah

Natalie. said...

I can honestly say that I have NEVER had a more spiritually significant meeting than the church service I attended at PCMC. . .

we fasted for you yesterday. with all the sincerity of our souls.

I keep imagining him with angels all around him. Lifting and strengthening you all.

Go Bronson Go!!!!!

Sara, you CAN do this. You are strong enough. . . with God, you are.

Tenderly,

N

Melinda and Jeff Dalebout said...

Wow, how amazing it is to see so many different people all over the world, of different faiths, pull together to pray to our Father in Heaven for Bronson. Sarah thanks for your strength to write your story. We will continue to pray.

Marissa said...

I am another stranger that found your story through a friend of a friend. I spent several hours this morning reading all your posts. The strength of you and your family is truly an inspiration. Your precious baby boy is in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for sharing your story and the proof of life and God's miracles!
Marissa-Aspen, Colorado

Kat said...

My Lord what you have endured. I'm following now. I want to watch this brave and great journey through to his recovery. My prayers are with you and your little one and your family...

Holly said...

You don't know me but my husband Brian does hardwood floors for the company Matt works for. Brian thinks the world of Matt and was devastated when he heard of your tragedy. We have been praying for Bronson and your entire family. It is obvious what amazing parents you are and your beautiful writing has brought us to tears many times. We were in St. George this weekend and stopped at the temple to put Bronson's name on the prayer roll. I hope you know that you have soo many people pulling for you and little Bronson. What a fighter he is! Keep up your great faith, you are an unbelievable example to so many! Can't wait for more "good day" updates! We're gonna keep on praying! Brian and Holly Wade

Nana said...

I too was given your story from a bloggy friend. It looks like your little guy is doing better every day. I hope so any way. I don't know if you have time to read your comments but, for what it is worth, I live in the Salt Lake Stake. (close to the hospital) If you need an errand ran, a bed late at night, whatever, we can help you.

Karen Duncan said...

Keep up the great work Bronson, we pray and think of you always xxxx

Michelle said...

{{{{hugs & prayers}}}}

Anonymous said...

you do not know me but please know that am yet another person out there in the world thinking of your family and hoping for the best. your little boy is beautiful and i hope that it is very soon that you are able to hold him without any tubes to be in your way. your faith and your strength are mind blowing and should be a lesson to us all. your family, especially little bronson, are in my thoughts and will continue to be.
xxt from ny

Peg Lewis said...

I was thrilled to see your dad on our floor at the FHL this morning: it meant things were pretty good with Bronson! I had not seen anything here on the blog since Sat night, so I was a bit concerned. There was much tenderness among the missionaries, many of whom have been following along as Bronson progresses.

Your blog is now 'must reading' for my daughters and daughters-in-law. It will not be easy for anyone to walk away from a toddler in a tub again. Let us dedicate Bronson's struggle and your family's pain to preventing future accidents of this sort.

We grandmas and grandpas add our fervent prayers to the others, for Bronson's well-being and for the safety of our own beloved grandbabies.

McGiven Family.... said...

Just like so many, you have no idea who I am. I have not been able to stop thinking about you and your family. I check your blog multiple times a day for updates. I am so glad to hear that baby B. is doing better. With 3 boys of my own, your story hits close to home. I am so amazed at your strength and faith. My family has been praying for you daily. May the thoughts and prayers being given on behalf continue to bring you comfort throughout this trying time. I believe in miracles and we are praying for one for your sweet family!

Alexis AKA MOM said...

I read your story on Pooba's blog and had to come over and tell you that I said a pray for Bronson right now and I will add him to our prayer list this weekend at church.

I'm so happy to hear he is wiggling and becoming stronger. Many thoughts and prayers with you!

Much love with you and the family.

April said...

My heart aches for you.
Your family, and sweet little Bronson are in my prayers.
Stay stong.
xoxo

Josh and Kandice said...

I cry every time I read your posts. I hope you don't mind me stalking you and Bronson during his battle and recovery. I'm so happy to see some improvement! I will pray for you, your family and Bronson. I loved seeing his eyes open, their so big and bright! Stay strong.

PhotoChick said...

Sara,
PRAISE GOD!!! We will continue to uplift Bronson in prayer & in praise! Bless your heart, Sara! I loved this post SO very much! I cheered; I smiled; I praised God; I cried for you; I cried happy tears because of your amazing words; I said "AMEN!" over & over; and most amazingly I laughed. BLESS YOUR HEART!!! You are such an amazing woman to be able to bring so much joy & even laughter to others' lives in the midst of everything you're going through. Thank you. Thank you so much! Thank you for this extremely fulfilling post! It really touched me to read of the Sacrament Meeting you were a part of. You make me realize (even more) how lucky & blessed we are. Thank you so much for sharing with us your amazing journey! I know Bronson will continue to improve, and soon he WILL be out of that bed! Your sweet child of God is so strong... And he has made MY faith even stronger. I find myself praising God for SO many reasons! I have both you and Bronson to thank for that. Sara, you may never know how many lives you have touched. I just want to tell you Sara, that you have made such a positive and major impression in my life. Thank you -- more thank you's than snow flakes on the ground right now! And twice as many prayers to you and yours!!! All my love,
Amanda

My Life as a Domestic Goddess said...

Matt & Sara-It was so wonderful to come & visit you guys today. Seeing Bronson made me feel so much better. He is so sweet. Being in the same room with him brought me so much peace. He has amazing parents who love him so much! Stay strong. We love you so!

Amy said...

just wanted you to know another stranger was praying for you and for bronson

Marcie said...

I heard about Bronson from Jane's blog.

Sara, I am so sorry for you and what your family is going through. Every single mother that reads this story can think of a dozen times this could have happened with her own children.

As I read your story I pictured my own boys the same ages reacting the same way -the six year old waiting in the car as he was told - your oldest being so responsible during it all.

Your love and faith are so pure.

I've thought of you and Bronson a dozen times a day since I read your story last week.

I just wanted to let you know of my love and support. You are amazing and I know that both you and Bronson are going to get through this.

My prayers are with you, your husband, little Bronson and those strong, faithful big brothers of his waiting at home.

Marcie Alcorn

Nani said...

Matt & Sara- Stay strong , We love you!
From The Bennett Family

Ashley Wilcox Stephens said...

You don't know me, I stumbled onto your blog through another friend's blog (and I am pretty sure she doesn't know you either). I sat for 30 minutes reading through the story of your sweet Branson, bawling after only a minute into the story. I had a 1-year-old who had a horrible reaction to his immunizations. He was taken from our Provo apartment, unconscious and unreponsive, to UVRMC and then transported to PCMC. While your story is much longer (we left the hospital within a week), the fear you must feel hits such a specific corner of my heart that it is painful to drudge up those memories. I want you to know that I too am praying for you and your sweet family; and I hope you are comfortable with me reading such a personal story.

It is amazing how the Lord looks after his little angels, and even more amazing that He lets us mothers borrow His sweet spirits for a short time while on this earth.

My heart goes out to you and your family. I admire your strength and your faith {even now I can't fight back the tears!}. Bless your hearts!

Anonymous said...

Many Prayers from San Antonio, tx

Anonymous said...

I know you have many many things going on right now, but I wanted you to know about one part of your story (among many) that touched me. It was the part where your little son was waiting in the car with his shoes tied, ready to go. With all the chaos going on around him, he did the very best that he could. I'm glad you recorded that detail for him and for you. Hugs to you and here's hoping the your little B is breathing on his own today.

Becca and Jared Anderson said...

I LOVE the picture of Bronson with his eyes open! Sweet baby boy!! He reminds me so much of my two year old baby boy with his hair done in the mohawk style.

I held my little boy a lot today, and kissed him probably a million times. The house work waited, and waited, and it felt so good to have him in my arms. I can only imagine your joy and how tender it is for you, each time you get to hold him.

Prayers for precious baby Bronson and his Mommy and Daddy!!

Love,
Becca Anderson
Idaho

Melinda and Jeff Dalebout said...

I already left a comment, but here's some faith through a childs eyes. Haley, 4 wanted to see the update with me and she said "look mom, Heavenly Father heard my prayers, Bronsons eyes are open, he's getting better." We will keep the prayers coming.

Laura said...

Praying and I fasted for you little B! They do find the craziest positions in those uncomfortable beds!! I lvoe the locket!!! That is so important for you and will be so wonderful when you decide you can leave! (I have necklaces for Kennedy and still wear them almost ever day). That is hymn is my absolute fav!! And Sara you already DO tons of service!!! I will never be able to tell you how much it ment that you took those pics of Kennedy!!! I will NEVER be able to repay the incredible priceless gift of those pics and I will cherish them for eternity!! YOU already have done so much for me and I'm am SURE that we aren't the only ones!!! WE love you and are continually praying for you!! xoxo Laura Linton

Anonymous said...

I am also a stranger to you, but have you in my thoughts and prayers continually. I am also a mother of 4 boys (10, 9, 7 and 2) and I have been much more patient and taken the time to hug them more since learning of your story. Thank you for sharing and especially sharing your testimony. I know that our Savior can heal your family. Much love...

The Baxter Bunch said...

Your story is very touching! All your boys are so beautiful. We're just another family praying for yours.

Stephers said...

Today I almost left my 3 year old alone to run and grab something at my neighbor's house... almost. Your little family came to my mind and I scooped him right up with me. So thank you, and God bless you and your family.

Stephers said...

Today I almost left my 3 year old alone to run and grab something at my neighbor's house... almost. Your little family came to my mind and I scooped him right up with me. So thank you, and God bless you and your family.

Beth said...

Like many others on here, I have not ever had the pleasure of meeting you or your beautiful family. But like many others, I am here and I am praying for Bronson and for you, your husband and your boys. GOD has already done so many miracles for you and I pray that they just keep coming your way.

Much love from Sydney, Australia.

Beth

Daphne said...

Sara and Matt--I can't tell you how good it felt to give you both a hug today! It calmed my heart a little to see you holding it together, so well taken care of by the staff there. We love you guys so much and we are so proud of how faithfully and graciously you are handling this. Give your sweet Bronson a kiss from us. Daph & Troy

Trent and Kimberly Ewing said...

The picture of him arching his back just seems so hopeful like he's going to just jump right out of bed any minute! Not to mention the wiggle worm, you just know he's there. . . doing what he wants to do, personality shining through. We are praying for you and you are constantly on our minds.

{jane} said...

i love that last picture of him...

i just feel like his little body is trying to climb right out of that bed, and go home with his family.

Queenie Jeannie said...

Just now discovering you and your situation....

Tons of prayers and comfort being sent your way!!! Please know you are not alone! God bless you all and keep you, and we're all praying for a miracle!!!

Kelby and Nichole said...

You don't know me, but I am Tess Koop's Sister in law. I used to be the Primary President up at Primary Childrens Hospital. I have a special place in my heart for all those little kids. Your family is in my prayers constantly. I am good friends with the Branch Presidency up there at the moment, If you need anything or just a visit let me know! nicholekoop@gmail.com

Ruth said...

I can understand a little of how you feel in the bathroom. When my first son was about a year he fell at church and hit his head. He split it open and needed about 15 stitches. I was so terrified seeing all that blood and for the longest time I could not walk in or past that door he had hit his head on. I just froze from terror.
You are in my prayers.

Noelle said...

You also don't know me, but I actually replaced Nichole as the Primary President up at PCMC and saw you guys on Sunday.

I am glad that our service could be a strength for you and create a place to feel the spirit. This is what we strive for each week, and I am glad we were able to bring it to you. I hope we can be of help to you and your family during this time - please let us know if we can help with anything. You are in our prayers. - Noelle

Tay and Teigan said...

Another stranger! I too was sent a link to your blog and have been praying every since. Thank you for letting us be part of this journey with you. You have reminded me of what's really important. God bless your family and that amazing little Bronson!

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